this life now...

I have some strange quirks...

2012-01-19T11:44:00.002-06:00

I am the type of person who will drop everything to keep reading a good book.

I am the type of person who will avoid doing dishes until she runs out of something essential, like spoons.

I am the type of person who avoids seeing movies right away if everyone else has seen them, out of principle.

I am the type of person who will actually try the things she likes on Pinterest.

I am the type of person who can make a great-looking pie, but fail at cakes.

I am the type of person who can sit in a quiet room and not feel the need to do anything.

I am the type of person who would rather go to bed early and sleep in.

I am the type of person who loves her job, even on the hard days.

I am the type of person who looks to her mom for strength and her dad for wisdom.

I am the type of person who asks her brother for advice on how to cook a roast.

I am the type of person who wears an alpaca poncho around her apartment to keep warm.

I am the type of person who writes on her blog when she is at a loss for what to do at work. :)

Another thing I learned...

2011-12-29T09:21:00.001-06:00

I knew that there would be something else to learn when I posted that list.

#12 I learned what fingers pinched in a door look like. And it's an image that will be in my head for awhile.

Last night we had a game night with "dark games" because the middle school students earned it through their offering giving. "Dark games" always pose a greater risk of injury than games in the light, naturally. One of my students got his fingers slammed in a door and two of them had pretty deep gashes in them.

Let's just say I am grateful for having a regular volunteer who is also a nurse. I am also grateful for college students who are trained in first aid who step up when they need to.

11 things I learned in 2011

2011-12-27T15:48:00.000-06:00

Granted, I've got a few days left to learn something in this year...

11. Not having tv is something a person can survive. It may even allow them to thrive.

10. The way to my nephew Kyle's heart is through anything to do with the movie Cars.

9. The world's largest ball of twine in Darwin, MN makes for a great photo opportunity.

8. No matter what I tell myself, I'm just not meant to be a Duke Blue Devil.

7. I love the bands Mumford & Sons and He Is We.

6. Chicago is my kind of town.

5. My dad is the head of housekeeping (among other things) at his new job and hell didn't freeze over! :)

4. Always make sure you have your keys BEFORE you lock your car. [see link for more info: http://auburnaudacity.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html]

3. Life can be heartbreaking and the road can be difficult, but there is always hope. Thank you for teaching that to me, Sam.

2. My mother is stronger and more courageous than any of us ever knew.

1. God has a plan for my life. It involves becoming a pastor. Seminary, here I come again!

Advent Reflection

2011-12-21T14:58:00.002-06:00

I told my mother this week that if I ever had children, I would probably not be a good parent. Certain events have passed that make me believe I would be an overbearing parent and would have a hard time being compassionate when the child defies me to make really stupid choices. As a youth pastor, this happens frequently since I work with teenagers and they are the age group that exemplifies this behavior (but the behavior is by no means limited to teenagers.) I have certain youth that I have invested much of my time and energy guiding and listening to and one of them let me down this week. It shouldn't have been as big of deal for me as it was, but I reacted terribly. I was angry. I have spent all this time telling them what to do, what not to do, etc. And they do what they want anyway. It's really frustrating!

So what does this story have to do with advent other than this happened during the season of advent? I'm so glad you asked.

This is the same story that we read in the Old Testament between Israel and God. Israel is that teenager that absolutely refuses to trust that God is God and keeps doing what they want. And it doesn't turn out well for them. By being disobedient, short-sited, and never satisfied, Israel managed to split into 2 countries. Both countries managed to be conquered by larger nations,and they manage to majorly corrupt the temple (the House of God.) Over and over God sends prophets to warn them, to correct them, to guide them but the people don't listen.

Then they come to God and complain about how terrible their lives are. How could he have let this happen? It wasn't their fault that they were conquered - did you see how big that army was?!?! I have to think God felt a little like I did this week. "I've told you over and over again!! This is the consquences of your choices!" If God were me, the phrase "Suck it up and deal with it" might be some where in the Old Testament - perhaps coming out of the mouth of Isaiah.

Instead, God has Isaiah say, "Comfort my people. Speak tenderly to them." They have so royally screwed up but instead of abandoning his people, God comforts them. Not only that, he says that he'll send one to fix it - to save them from the mess they created.

Sometimes I don't get how God can do that. When I really stop and dwell on it I cannot believe what he promises and what he delivered that night in Bethlehem. The frustrated youth pastor who wants to swear of kids part of me says, "They don't deserve this! They'll never learn!" The sinner in me says, "Praise God - I don't deserve this but I am so humbled by it."

May you be humbled this advent season at the mercy you have been shown by God - a mercy that is beyond anything I can muster and beyond anything any of us deserve.

why advent isn't on my mind...

2011-12-06T16:05:00.003-06:00

Normally Advent is my favorite season of the church and of the year. I love the time leading up to Christmas and spend time listening to Christmas carols and singing Advent hymns (O Come O Come Emmanuel and Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming are two of my favorites). I start to watch all of my movies that feature at least one Christmas scene and do some baking.

This year I have done some of those things, but my heart is just not in it like other years. The reason is because my mind and heart are with a teenage boy who was diagnosed with Leukemia in March. His cancer has resisted going into remission and he is losing the battle. Sam Grorud is amazing because through his diagnosis and battle with cancer, he has brought together many people in the town of Milbank and beyond through prayer and support. He has defied expectation over and over again.

I do not pretend to understand why God allows teenagers to have cancer, but he does. I do not pretend to know why Sam's cancer did not respond to the chemotherapy, but it didn't. I do not pretend to know why God has put me in Milbank at Sam's church for this journey, but He did. I don't pretend to know what tomorrow brings or the next week or month or year, but it will come and God will be there.

Right now my heart and my mind are with the Groruds and it seems that Advent is in the background. However, more than ever I understand the need for hope in the darkest of times. The power that faith and prayer can have when nothing else delivers is astounding. So, maybe Advent isn't so far away. Maybe this year the message of hope and the need to be saved is closer than ever.

For those of you who would like to know more about Sam and his story:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/samgrorud

Advent Log and Squirrell

2011-12-04T22:50:00.003-06:00

Advent logs are a common tradition that are along the same lines as an Advent wreath. They have 4 candles that represent each Sunday in Advent. As a young child I made an Advent log during Sunday School. We were given a log with holes in it for the candles and we were to decorate it. We had various fake greenery, red ribbon and bows among other decorations. When I finished with the log it was the most hideous advent I had ever seen, but I brought it home and my parents proudly displayed it. In fact, they still have it to this very day.

But what makes my parents' advent wreath special was the addition of a small ceramic squirrel that I made it art class a few years after I made the wreath. He is perched on the log and has become a part of the advent celebration in the Rowen household. He has lost an ear over the years so he fits right in with the log that has some it's decorations that are starting to fall off.

Last year my dad made me my very own advent log similar to the one I made them so many years ago. However mine does not have a squirrel. :(

Advent Begins...

2011-11-27T17:57:00.003-06:00

It is my sincere intention to write often during advent. About what is going on in my life. About the advent season and about how I prepare for Christmas.

To start things off, though, a Tim Hawkins video. He makes some valid points that I think we all should consider.

Direction in Life

2011-09-19T09:43:00.004-05:00

I have made a life decision. I am going to become a pastor. Following is the description of how I got to this point. Please pray for me as I navigate the next stage of my life. Thanks!

I was fifteen when I gavemy life to Christ at the Lifelight Music Festival. I was blessed in high school to have a group of friends who werealso committed to their faith. We wereable to support each other and hold each other accountable. I received my first calling my senior yearbut I cannot remember exactly how it happened. I remember that we were signing up for job shadowing and the first thingI wrote down was “youth pastor.” Idon’t remember consciously thinking about it prior to that moment.

I went to college at theUniversity of Sioux Falls and majored in Philosophy and Theology with a minorin English. College was a fruitful timefor me. I loved being in the classroom,asking the difficult questions, working through the gray areas of my life andfaith. I spent a semester abroad inOxford University studying philosophy of religion. Needless to say, my passion became academic theology. My professors helped to give me a voice – toexpress my beliefs and my faith. Theyquestioned me and asked me to defend my faith – so that they (and moreimportantly I) knew what it was that I believed and why.

During the summers Iworked at Lake Poinsett Camp under Thom Bowsher for a year and then Steve Fossfor four years. I loved the balancethat the camp provided in my life. During the school year my head would be filled with theologicalconcepts, church history dates, philosophical arguments, etc. In the summers, I was able to witness thetransformative work of God through camping ministry. Not only that, I came away from camp with a group of close-knitfriends who were committed to God as I was.

I applied to seminarieswith the goal of one day becoming a professor of theology. I spent two years at Gordon ConwellTheological Seminary in South Hamilton, MA. My time at seminary taught me a lot about what it took to be an academicand to succeed in that field. I foundmyself less and less enchanted with becoming a scholar. I still wanted to be in a classroom to teachand help others to grow in their faith, but I did not like the self-promotionand competition the field required.

During that time I alsoworked at a small UCC church as a secretary. The pastor of that church was awoman who had attended Gordon Conwell. I learned so much from her about being a faithful servant to God. She had received her calling to ministrylater in life and in a denomination that was much more liberal than her ownpersonal beliefs. However, God calledher and she obeyed. I saw how thechurch rallied behind her. Peoplestepped up and took responsibility for their church – everything from takingcare of the building, to inviting others to worship, and to taking their veryyoung and inexperienced secretary out to lunch and the occasional Red SoxGame. I absolutely fell in love withthat church.

After graduating fromseminary with a Master of Arts Degree in Theology, I returned to SouthDakota. Since I was unsure if I wantedto continue with my schooling, I decided to take some time off and work onreducing my school loan debt. After afew months at home, I got a job at Central United Methodist Church in Milbank,SD as a full-time youth worker. It wasnot something I had planned to do, but I trusted that God knew what he wasdoing.

I have been at Central fortwo years now working with middle school and high school youth. I have two youth groups, teach Sundayschool, teach confirmation classes, and plan many trips and events. In the summers I am blessed to return toLake Poinsett Camp as a counselor for a variety of church camps. I often remark to others that I found a jobthat doesn’t feel like a job. Many kidsask me if I actually do work or just get paid to spend time with them. Little do they know! Many days I feel like I am being thrown intothe deep end dealing with real struggles and tragedy. However, I have been so blessed by these students and do not takeit lightly when they invite me into their lives. I am learning the value of just being there for someone – tolisten, to love, and to point to God.

This summer I spent fourweeks counseling at Lake Poinsett Camp as well as one more week on a missiontrip. Early in the summer I was askedto lead a worship service at the camp. A group of us from Milbank participated in the service, but I had plannedit and gave the message. After theservice, my parents came up to me. Mymother was crying, (which in all honesty is sort of normal when she hears meshare a message) and said that she knew without a doubt I should become apastor. For years, my response to thathas always been that I know God has a calling on my life, but I’m not going tobe a pastor. That day, the responsewasn’t there. I didn’t know what tomake of that. A few others also came upsaying the same sort of things. Ipushed it all down as I had weeks of camp left and very little time to processwhat that might mean.

The last week of camp forme was Leadership Training Camp. Thetheme for the week was God’s Calling and I almost couldn’t believe it. Each night the message struck me sopowerfully that by the time we reached the Silent Night I was a wreck. I sat in the chapel and just cried. I cried because it wasn’t my plan. I cried because I had spent so long runningaway from what God wanted for me. Icried because I was afraid of what I might give up if I agreed to pastoralministry. The last morning one of mystudents spoke about a mission trip to Haiti he had taken earlier thatsummer. He talked about themissionaries who worked there. Theywould wake up early in the morning and do physical labor in the heat andhumidity in a country far away from everyone and everything they knew. The student asked them why they did it andthey said they did it because they knew God had called them there. They were fulfilled because they were rightwhere God wanted them to be. Nothingelse compared.

It was that moment that Iknew I would do it. I knew what God wascalling me to do. I look back now andsee how God has been preparing me for this all along. He opened my eyes to a love for studying his Word in college, heopened my heart for his people at the church in MA, and he opened me up todoing ministry here in Milbank. Thiswas His plan all along – even if it was not mine. I can see that now and am ready to be obedient to Him.

And we know that in all things God works for the good ofthose who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

a not-so-typical day

2011-05-22T21:29:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I am guilty of sitting around my apartment wishing I did something more exciting with my life. Wishing I could go somewhere and do something that would be a funny anecdote to tell others. Well, today that wish came true.

It started off like a normal day. Went to church, had my last day of teaching Sunday school before summer break, and went to church again. After church the pastor's son was really bored so he asked if he could come with me on my one errand I had planned for the day. I said sure, so we ate at Hardee's and were off. We drove to Hartford Beach so I could see ahead of time where the cabin was that we were going to use for our boys event tomorrow night. Nothing really exciting in this story except to say that he has a very interesting taste in music and plays it so loud that I will probably be shouting for a few days thinking I'm talking at a normal volume.

I got back to my apartment and called my parents just to chat. My mom tells me she's in the mood to go shopping and asks if I would like to meet her in Watertown. I say sure, so 5 minutes after arriving home I'm out the door again. We shop and then decide to eat at Applebee's. We get ready to leave and I can't find my keys. Sure enough, I locked them in the car. Now, all of my keys are on the same keychain: my apartment keys, church keys, car keys, scooter key, even church van keys. Not good.

I convince my mom that I will drive to Milbank in her car (she of course is coming along, but I didn't want her to have to drive the extra 80 this plan would require.) The plan was to call the church secretary to have unlock the church and my office so I could get my spare apartment key so I could unlock my apartment to get my spare car key. The secretary wasn't answering. I call the pastor to meet me at the church. I get to the church and the custodian is there so I banged on the door and he let me in. Can't find the key. The pastor shows up because I forgot to call him back - so we both look for the key. Not there. The secretary finally calls me back, I ask her if she has the key. She's the only one who ever borrows it to feed my fish. She says she doesn't have it. We look in her desk, we look in my desk. Nothing.

Plan B. I will go to my apartment building and hope that the lady who is basically the landlord is home and she can open my apartment for me. I knock on her door. Nothing. I quickly formulate a new plan. I will knock on my neighbor's door and climb out her balcony and walk on the ledge 5 feet to my balcony because I think I left that door unlocked. So, I knock on that door - nothing. We hear the tv in the apartment on the other side of me. I knock on that door. My new neighbor who has only met me once opens and I kindly ask him if I can climb out of his balcony. So, I climb out of his balcony and walk on this ledge around the building. I now have to go around 2 corners and both his and my air conditioners. I make it to my balcony only to discover I did, in fact, lock that door. New plan! I will somehow get the screen off the window and climb through that. I know that I never lock the windows shut. That plan works and I open the door to let my mom in the apartment. This whole time my mom's been left in the car and left in the hallway - generally just left to wait for me.

I find my spare car key and then proceed to drive my mom's car back to Watertown. Unlock my car and the drive back to Milbank again. Still don't know where my spare apartment key is...

So - yeah... not how I thought today would go, but it was an adventure!

To prepare for Easter...

2011-04-05T21:21:00.002-05:00

Although it is still lent, I came across this video today and found it so powerful I just have to share. I also put it on my facebook. I hope it blesses you like it blessed me today.

Ghost Adventures

2011-03-26T21:53:00.002-05:00

I cannot stop watching the show "Ghost Adventures" on the Travel Channel. I have lost a lot of sleep because the show is on Friday and Saturday nights in marathon form. Then I have to watch something else so I am not so freaked out when I go to bed - by myself - in an apartment building that lends itself to noises from other tenants.

I really don't know what I think about paranormal stuff. I believe in the Holy Spirit - so I guess I logically would need to leave room for spirit. And I find it interesting that they track electro-magnetic field disturbances, temperature fluctuations, and the like. It's kind of amazing to think of the science behind this.

But what, as a Christian, do we make of paranormal activity?

in the land of carnivores but not of it...for now

2011-03-21T22:17:00.002-05:00

When I was in seminary and the conversation would turn to age - people would always guess that I was 28. It would never fail - that was the age people believed me to be in MA. Perhaps it was the setting - I was in seminary and young people don't normally do that. Perhaps it was my friends - some were older but some were also younger. Perhaps it was the way I dressed - khakis, fleece, button down shirts. I rarely wore t-shirts or sweatshirts in public unless they had a crest on them.

Now that I am getting closer to that ever fateful age - people keep guessing under my real age. I suppose I should be lucky that I seem to be suffering from some sort of Benjamin Button syndrome but I think more is happening here. Perhaps it is the setting. I am now a youth pastor and my setting is usually in my office that is currently a mess of supplies, toys, and random objects such as teeth, guitars and a bongo drum. Perhaps it is the people I surround myself with - teenagers. They might have rubbed off on me a little... Perhaps it is the clothes I wear - band t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, jeans 6-7 days a week... Perhaps the fountain of youth is merely being in close proximity with youth.

So yes, my birthday came and went last week and my favorite parts included a homemade gift from my dad, frying an egg in my new pan from my mom, walking into my office filled with pink balloons from DeVern and Jen, and getting a surprise lunch from the church staff at the Millstone. I am a truly blessed girl.

Lastly, as you might have heard - it's Lent again. To continue my crazy ways - I have given up meat this year. So far so good - but I am grateful for the breaks on Sunday. I had a Frisco burger from Hardees and I almost drooled looking at it. That's just ridiculous! I did, however, make my first batch of really good pancakes on my new griddle. Turns out I am a really unhealthy vegetarian!

That's all I've got. What are you doing for Lent?

30 Photo Challenge

2011-02-25T14:43:00.002-06:00

On facebook there is something going around called the 30 Day Photo Challenge. I really liked the idea, but I didn't want to do it in 30 days because I'm going to be gone so much. Also, I didn't want people to have to see it who really wouldn't care about the minute facts of my life. So, I decided to do all 30 photos in an album on Picasa and link it to my blog. If you read this, you must be interested in what I have to say.

30 Photo Challenge

You will need to read the captions because they explain the pictures.

I hope you enjoy!

now the eyes of my eyes are opened.

2011-02-14T14:18:00.003-06:00

Since I am not part of a couple and do not have to direct my affection to a significant other on this most "sacred and holy" of days - I am going to share some of the things that have brought me joy and made me feel loved in the recent days.

Pan-seared boneless pork chops

I have had a couple of different recipes for pork lately and I just really like it. One has a cider sauce with it and the other is a mushroom/onion sauce. I feel like a chef when I actually cook supper and pork seems to be my specialty. Tonight I'm breaking out and trying orange-ginger chicken.

Family Force 5

When in the office, this is the music I've been gravitating towards lately. It's a little rock and a little silly but its energetic and really gets me motivated. And every once in a while their songs are actually really poignant and I like that surprising depth for a band that knows how to have fun.

Family Time

I got to go home this weekend for the first time since Christmas. There are no words to describe how nice it is to just be home. My parents are really awesome to let me invade their time and space like that. They are also really awesome to drive to Watertown after I forgot my phone charger yet again...

XBOX Kinect

Ok - this thing is seriously cool. You are the controller! And you dodge, dive, dip, duck and dodge. (Oh wait, that's something else...) You can really work up a sweat with this game - and more than a few sore muscles. I could barely move Wednesday morning after trying Kinect for the first time. Also - playing 20,000 leaks with my mom in our living room are memories worth having.

Conversations with great friends

My friends may not live in Milbank (although I sort of have a new one for awhile), but that doesn't mean we can't have amazing friendships. Thank you to those who take the time to connect with me - I may not always make it easy, but I hope I make it worth it. :)

Youth Ministry

I know I don't talk a lot about my job on here, but I can't for confidentiality reasons. I want you to know that for as much as it can take over my life and dictate what I can and cannot do - I wouldn't change it. I LOVE the youth of this church and when I am gone - I miss them. When they do something awesome - I beam with pride. When they hurt - it cuts me, too.

So - that's what I've been thinking about on this Valentine's day.

Ice throw

2011-01-20T22:32:00.004-06:00

My parents and aunts and uncles used to spend nights sitting around the kitchen table. They would have a good time talking and reminiscing. One of my favorite things to do was sit and listen to them when they were all together. I loved the stories, I love the grand ideas, the righteous indignation, and the jokes. But mostly, I knew something awesome was going to happen. One night we tried to put my aunt's fairly short and very curly hair into a princess ponytail - which was only semi-successful. One night my uncle shared his "ultimate shoulder rub" which was almost unbearably painful, but he promised that "it will feel so nice when I'm done." Most nights like this involved some sort of singing (in at least 3 part harmony and must include the song "sentimental journey".)

But the best night of all was when my uncle showed all of us kids one of the mysteries of science. It was a winter night - so cold. He had my mom boil some water on the stove and poured the boiling water into a cup. Then, he opened the sliding glass doors and threw the water into the air. To our astonishment, the water instantly turned to snow before it hit the deck. The effect looks something like this:

Tonight, after checking that the weather was sufficiently cold (-15 F) I decided to recreate the ice throw that my uncle taught me so many years ago. I boiled the water and stood on the balcony of my 3rd floor apartment in my knit boots, shorts, sweater, and stocking cap and threw boiling water into the air. Before it hit the ground a couple of stories below - it had turned to snow. Pretty awesome.

embracing the new creation

2011-01-01T13:43:00.002-06:00

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Being stuck in my apartment alone for 3 days over the New Years is not my first choice of how to spend the holiday. The first day I reveled in the time alone, resting. I am an introvert by nature, so the first day was much needed. I needed my own little slice of the universe to regain a sense of who I am.

The second day was the tough one. I ventured out in the snow and cold in the morning. I thought it would help to get out the apartment. I thought I could avoid what would inevitably come - the reflection, the self-pity, the dissatisfaction. However, it came anyway. I called home to find the rest of my family celebrating together. I pitied myself for living in South Dakota, a place where weather ruins plans. I pitied myself for living alone. I pitied myself for having a year with no big accomplishments, nothing I could brag about. I went to bed before midnight, not really caring to watch the ball drop.

Then something happened. I woke up this morning and things were different. I remembered who I was in Christ. I remembered his promise that I am a new creation. I remembered why I love what I do and that the sacrifices are worth it. Who I am now is not all of who I will be. I have been so worried that God was done with me, but he is just beginning with me. I am still new. I need to trust in Him and even though things won't always go the way I think they should go and I will face challenges - God's got this under control.

Yesterday I contemplated what I would do if I the chance to move somewhere else - where no one knew me or who I was up to this point. What would I do? Who would I be? I contemplated what it would be like to not be a Christian - and you know what? I couldn't do it. Even in my imagination I cannot fathom a world without God. As the lyrics of one of my favorite Skillet songs tell me, "there's something deep inside that keeps my faith alive." Even through the rough times, which I've had, something keeps my faith alive. Something always brings me back. Something makes me new.

So today, as we all embrace the new year, let's also embrace the promise that you are a new creation in Christ and that God's mercy is new every morning.

Almost Christmas

2010-12-19T23:06:00.003-06:00

Tonight was the high school Christmas party. All last week I had been working on a Christmas themed Family Feud game for the party. It went so well. The kids really got into it. I had them come up with family names and how everyone was related to everyone else. One of the teams all had famous members - Captain Jack Sparrow, Dora the Explorer, Yoda, Elvis, Miley Cyrus while the other team had only one famous name - Snuffleupagus. Well, if you put the "twins" together their names were famous... John and Wayne (both played by freshmen named Alex H.) Today was also the Chrismas program at the church and the choir cantata. I wish I could be in that choir but they always rehearse during Middle School youth fellowship.

All of this to say that my surroundings are telling me it's Christmas. I try to resist the usual trapping of Christmas until a couple of weeks out. This last week I have begun to let myself indulge in some Christmas music and movies. I watched The Holiday, Love Actually, and An Affair to Remember which I consider to be a holiday because it ends on Christmas Day. I am saving my favorite holiday movie for when I am home with my parents: Home Alone.

I have had a lot of kids stopping by my office in the last week. Mostly its because I'm one of the few people that can sign off on their mandatory service hours required by the high school. Some of them stayed to chat awhile and most of them looking for sympathy on how crazy their life is - how they have speeches and tests and papers due. I sort of miss the chaotic, stressful time that is finals. Hear me out.

While in college and seminary, the latter half of November and the beginning of December were a dark abyss. After Halloween you began to see the dark tunnel approaching and if you weren't it in by Thanksgiving break, you were heading for it. It's that time where you hole up in your room or at the library frantically studying and writing. Your to-do list is longer than what should be humanly possible to complete. By the time you actually take the tests and turn in the papers, you are so sleep deprived your brain feels like the consistency of grape jelly. You wonder how you made it through, but there is also a sense of accomplishment buried under all that exhaustion.

In seminary, once finals were done, I could look forward to going home for Christmas. It was great because I would get to fly home and really have time to transition from "study" mode to "vacation" mode. I would sit in the airport in Boston and Chicago brimming with excitement because I hadn't seen my family in months. I hadn't been home. Christmas vacation was a real vacation because I was able to vacate my student life for a couple of weeks.

I miss all of that. I miss the sense of accomplishment. I miss the sense of relief and the joy of sleeping in after weeks of stress and tension. I miss the radical change of pace that Christmas always brought to my life. Last year I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas.

Some things are the same. We are still going to the Christmas Eve service and we will sing a verse of Silent Night in German (Stille Nacht). We will all butcher a verse of "I am So Glad Each Christmas Eve" in Norwegian. I will still visit my Grandma's on Christmas Eve night and open presents with my family Christmas morning. And when the time comes, all too soon, I will come back to Milbank and hang out with the kiddos.

I'm not sure what the point in all of that was. Life is changing. I can feel it - just can't seem to describe it well. Oh well - I hope you have a wonderful Christmas however you find yourself celebrating it!

This is my winter song to you.

2010-12-05T22:52:00.003-06:00

There is no denying it any longer. Winter has arrived. When the first hint of snow dusted the ground a few weeks ago I was still in denial. I was in a very crabby denial because I wasn't ready for winter to arrive yet. Now, however, I have accepted the truth. It is December - it should be white outside.

I don't really have much to say. Lots on my mind, but rarely things that I am able to share. It's been frustrating in a way to have so much happen and not be able to include the few who read this in my prayer requests and small victories and defeats throughout the fall. Know that I stay quite busy contrary to the contents of this blog. Know that God is constantly putting me into situations that I have no idea how to navigate and he always brings me through. Know that even if I don't write you, that I think of you more.

I do have one story I can tell. My guitar that has been broken for a long time has finally been fixed and along with the guitar came some amazing news. I bought this guitar from Jerry Stolp for $15 a long time ago. It has been the guitar that went with me to college and to camp. The bridge snapped before I moved to Milbank, so I've been borrowing my aunt's guitar during this time. Well, it turns out that this guitar - my guitar - is a nice guitar. It would retail for maybe $500-600. However, if I had wanted to get a guitar of equal quality, I would have to spend around $1500! Can you believe it? When I got that news, I felt like I was on an episode of Antiques Roadshow or something. I would never sell that guitar - it means too much to me. It is a symbol of the beginning of my journey as a Christian. However, it is nice to know that something I treasure is also a treasure.

Another random story: I have been listening to all the music on my computer in alphabetical order by song title. I have 1,157 songs on my computer. It's 2.7 days of music. I have been on this project for over a week. Right now I am on the letter "O". The song playing at the moment is "Overture/Work Song" from the soundtrack to Les Miserables. It's been an interesting project. I have discovered a lot of music that I forgot I had and a lot of music I don't really like. The next project will be to edit that list down.

That's what's new with me. I hope you are enjoying your advent. My dad made me an advent log - I really enjoy my Sunday lunches now - getting to light the candle and everything. Thanks Dad!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T12:40:00.003-06:00

To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything he has given us - and he has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of his love, every moment of existence is a gift of grace, for it brings with it immense graces from him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. -Thomas Merton

These last few months have been so full. Never in my life have I been so constantly in a state of heightened emotion and responsibility. My mind has been full of cares and concerns, of thankfulness and anger, of disappointment and hope. God has been busy at work and has granted me a part in that work, though most days I am unclear as to what role I should be playing.

Last weekend we did a 30 Hour Famine at our church. All the churches in Milbank were invited to participate, but I ended up doing the majority of the work. I was stressed, I was tired, and at the beginning of the event I just wanted to get through it. I just wanted it to be over. It is a good thing that God can speak to us even when it's the last thing we want to hear.

During the Famine, the youth that came surprised me. They decided to think about others instead of themselves - even if it was only for a moment. They are going to raise money to buy high quality hand filters in order to provide people in Haiti with clean drinking water. We are calling it the Clean Water Project. However, this is not really what this post is about.

I had to learn a lesson - be thankful for everything. Be thankful for the food you eat and the water you drink. That was what I was expecting to learn. What I really learned is to be thankful when you least feel like being thankful. Be grateful even when you don't feel it. Focus on God's blessings instead of all the challenges. Be grateful for the Son of God - if you have nothing else in your life to be thankful for - remember the love of God through Jesus Christ. You are loved - oh you are so loved.

Awake to the new wonder and praise of the goodness of God.

Where did this month go?

2010-10-18T18:31:00.002-05:00

Okay, seriously - how is it the 18th already? The last full day off I had was October 2nd. 16 days ago. So much has happened since then and so much I really can't share on this blog. However, there is some that I can share!

The Generations Meal was October 3rd and we had about 120 people show up for it. The youth did the evening service and hosted a meal afterward. I truly believe that God provided a little miracle with the food because we really only had enough food for 80-90 to eat and somehow we fed everyone. There was some multiplying of the ham and cheese sandwiches in the kitchen, I think.

That same week I left for Kansas City for a church conference. It was called the Leadership Institute and was held at the Church of the Resurrection United Methodist church. It is the largest UM church in the nation - 20,000 members roughly. It was great to be in Kansas City again - I got to stay with Anna and her grandparents! I was challenged by a lot and inspired by a lot. I am looking forward to implementing some of what I learned there in our little youth ministry in Milbank.

I came back from that on Saturday night, went to church Sunday morning and stopped back at my apartment for about 30 minutes to frantically unpack and re-pack before heading back to the church for another trip. This time I was headed to Lake Poinsett Camp with my 7th and 8th graders for a confirmation camp. It was a 24 retreat with 3 other church attending as well. It was a fun, quick trip.

I spent 3 very full days in Milbank after that - concerts, MS YF, volleyball game, playing catch-up in the office and in my apartment. Then this past Friday I packed up the church van again and headed to Jamestown, ND for the Senior High Conference Rally. I didn't lead a small group, but did help with the Music/drama section of the Arts village. We decided to do a drama based on Glee. I was the Sue Sylvester character. It was so much fun to be so mean! I even got to throw a slushy in the other adult leader's face - twice! It was his idea, so no hate mail! :) I also had the privilege of giving the Sunday morning message. It was short and sweet and a total nerve-wrecking experience for me. I do not think preaching is my calling, and that's ok with me!

Yesterday, an hour after I got back from North Dakota, I went to the church for a membership meeting. In a couple of weeks I will be officially joining the United Methodist Church. I am looking forward to this commitment. The United Methodist Church has been such a large part of my spiritual journey and it really is my home.

Hopefully life will slow down a little now. And I find some time off soon!

Just "whelmed"

2010-09-22T12:12:00.002-05:00

A person can be overwhelmed. A person can be underwhelmed. But can a person just be "whelmed?"

There is a lot on my plate lately but it's not exactly overwhelming. However, I stay busy and challenged enough to not be underwhelmed either. There is a lot to be excited about this year. My high school youth group has tripled! However, this upcoming Sunday is confirmation, so we'll see if those numbers stay after that. I have told some people, but I am cautious about being excited about the growth because I am waiting to see some kids stop coming. Last year the first couple of weeks there were more than there were any other time of the year. I would love if they all stayed, but I bracing myself for the reality that they aren't going to. And that's maybe ok. In high school the kids that come are the kids that want to be there...for the most part.

I have been thinking a lot lately and that unusual for me. Just kidding. It's not unusual for me at all. I just keep wondering what God has in store for me. That's kind of selfish. During college I had direction but since seminary that has been so elusive to me. I am doing what I am doing but have no idea what the future holds. For a lot, that seems ideal. I have very few attachments, so the world is open to me (for the most part.) But what I want is some direction. I would like some goal to work toward. I have learned that I tend to get lazy without something to work toward. I love what I do now, but when 6th graders are asking me if I will still be here when they graduate, there is a small voice in my head that says, "I really hope that is not God's plan..."

I've known for awhile that my life wouldn't resemble those closest to me. I mean, I'm 25 and single. That's almost an unforgivable sin in the Midwest - especially if you are Christian! I should be multiplying God's kingdom by my family. What can I say... I'm a rebel. I will multiply God's kingdom through other means.

Just some rambling. SYATP was this morning. We had about 50 kids show up. Smaller than last year, but I'm still happy with the turnout.

That's all. Later.

It all begins again

2010-09-10T18:24:00.002-05:00

This Sunday is Rally Sunday at our church. That means we switch back from summer hours, Sunday School begins, and Youth Fellowship begins. I have a special service planned for yf this week. We are going to do a covenant service and start the year by being reminded that God has made all things new. In Christ we are a new creation. Therefore, it is my hope that we can begin this year without a lot of baggage.

Rally Sunday also means I've been busy putting the youth room back together. This last month has been spent priming and painting the walls. We have a few things left to paint, but I am going to wait on those until this winter when we have a bit of a slow season. I think that is the best idea because it will allow for them to discuss what they want for the last mural and bit of wall to be done. I want this to feel like their room, after all.

I commented to my mother today that starting Sunday I will be crazy busy again. She replied, "When aren't you crazy busy?" This last year has flown by and my schedule is already filling up for the new year. I like it though. I like having a job that's crazy and unpredictable at times. I love having students show up in my office just to hang out because they were bored. I love going to games and sitting next to nervous parents as they watch their son or daughter play. So, while it keeps me busy, I don't mind.

If you are reading this, I am going to ask you a favor. Please send up a prayer for my youth groups this year. Both middle school and high school. Pray that they would encounter God in a powerful way. Pray that God would break through their walls and soften their hearts. And pray that their schedules don't get the best of them!!

Thanks!

Looking Ahead

2010-08-13T13:29:00.003-05:00

This Sunday marks my year anniversary living and working in Milbank. In honor of that momentous occasion, I have decided to grace you with a Top 10 List of moments in the last year. Enjoy!

10. Every crazy thing that I have said in total sincerity, such as "WIPE!!"

9. Milbank winning the football state championship.

8. Lizzy's rabbit impression. "What does a rabbit do?"

7. Camp and all that includes.

6. Emily and Kristen's weddings. Congrats!

5. Every trip with students - they were... um.... learning experiences.

4. The night in hs yf where I was flooded with questions.

3. The support for my aunt's funeral.

2. Setting off the fire alarm in the church.

1. My nephew Kyle was born. On Christmas day. In a blizzard.

Here's to another year in this crazy job. May God bless it!

I heart camp.

2010-07-22T17:07:00.002-05:00

This summer is a challenge. The dean of the camp that I counseled last week encouraged us to write down some of the stories so that we don't forget them and because story telling is part of life and of keeping faith alive. I agree with him, but I'm afraid the things that I have been learning and experiencing do not work well in story form. God has been moving and it's been incredible to see him break through to kids in the last few weeks.

This last camp, though. Man... I did not come back the same person at all. Some of it had to do with watching middle schoolers totally school me on what it means to be compassionate. Some of it had to do with feeling more at home at camp than I do in Milbank (even though I've lived here nearly a year.) Some of it has to do with finally connecting to other young leaders in the Dakotas Conference Methodist Church after a year of feeling like an outcast. Some of it has to do with my complacency in my own spiritual life and being challenged to step up in what I am leading students to do and think.

Over the last year one of the biggest hardships I faced was the feeling of being alone. This last week at camp put that in sharp relief. I was a part of a team of active Christians with different perspectives, passions and ideas for what God can do and does do in the world. Left on my own, my concept of God tends to shrink. I don't give him much credit or expect him to work. My attitude throughout the year had been - I'm going to try this and if something good comes of it, then great... if not - oh well. This week I realized that God can and will do amazing things with teenagers - if I trust Him. If I lead them to trust Him.

I am grateful for the camping ministry because it changed my life. I am who I am because of camp. Camp breaks down my walls and prepares me to listen to that still small voice of God. It is camp that provides that place set apart where my body and mind are trained to focus on God and to re-center my life around Him. It's not that camp is the only place to encounter God - it's just the most powerful memories I have of God so I am actually listening when I am there.

Like I said, not really stories. But they are truths and the truths about who I am and who I have been. As I look forward to this next year I pray that I am not the same person this time next summer as I am right now.

New Song

2010-07-07T18:37:00.003-05:00

It isn't finished yet, but this is a song I've been working on today. I would like your feedback. The video is poor quality, but I only made it because I can't figure out how to upload just music to the blog yet...

Lyrics:

How can I turn my face, when the pain is all too real?

How can I let it go, when anger's all I feel?

I know He said I've got to love my enemy

Not sure if that's really possible for me

at least on my own without Him near me.

How can I open up after all that you've done?

How can I speak to you, when the words fail to come?

Summer Life

2010-07-06T15:31:00.003-05:00

Summer life is...

Busy. I thought maybe it wouldn't be so hectic this summer without all my reguarly scheduled Sunday School and youth fellowship times, but that is so not the case. I have replaced a routine with chaotic scheduling and week-long camps. But I am also loving it! I just got back from my first week-long camp "Dare 2DV8". It's a 5th and 6th grade camp and I had a group of kids from the Milbank church go along. I would not trade those experiences for anything - I am so excited for these kids to participate in youth fellowship in a couple of years.

I also went camping with my family over the 4th. My grandma Henry turned 88 this year! Her birthday is on the 4th and that is lucky because she doesn't really like being celebrated. However, I spotted some tears this year as we sang happy birthday. She's just a big softy after all!

My dad bought a scooter (a razz) for me a couple of weeks ago. I just casually mentioned that I might like to own one someday and the next thing I know there is one in the garage. It's an older model, and it's seen some tough days, but it works and is almost in my price range. My parents are working with me on the payments. It's small enough that it doesn't have to be licensed, but it still goes about 20-25 mph. It's a baby blue color and at some point I'll have to put a picture of it online. Machelle calls it "barbie blue."

Otherwise, not much else to report. I am currently waging war against fruit flies in my apt. Their numbers are such that they should win, but I have discovered their great weakness: apple cider vinegar. Put a little dish soap in with the vinegar to break the surface tension and when they land for a drink, they drown. However, now my apartment smells like vinegar and I have these cups of what looks like nasty fly soup around my apartment.

That's all for now. Hope you're enjoying your summer!

Lizzy is 3!!!

2010-05-31T21:16:00.003-05:00

My sweet little niece Lizzy turned 3 today! I cannot believe it. Here are a few pictures from the day. Also - happy Memorial Day! I am so honored to be the granddaughter of two veterans.

Grandma Henry and my nephew Kyle. He's getting so big!

What a beautiful girl!!

She got this bouncy ball thing for her birthday.

She's going to have some pretty strong legs by the end of summer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZY!

LOVE YOU!

End of the School Year

2010-05-18T09:34:00.002-05:00

It's May. Already.

On Sunday I watched the seniors of Milbank High School graduate. I didn't know the entire class and I really only knew a couple very well. I am always a little emotional at graduations, though. Each student is beaming with pride at what they have accomplished. It is one of the only time where the ending is just as exciting as the beginning. They have completed their childhood and now the whole world is laid out before them. I like reading where each of the students are going to college or military or wherever. It's so full of hope.

I am so thankful for the seniors who were in my youth group this year. They had every reason to write me off and yet they didn't. They allowed me into their lives even though they knew it would only be this year. They were student leaders and went on many of the extra trips and events offered throughout the year. I could not have had the year I did without these two students.

I am so proud of everyone who graduated this year. A lot of my seminary friends also graduated and are embarking on the next phase of their lives in ministry. For some that means more education, for others it means finding jobs. I pray for God's blessing on all of them. I could not be more proud or honored to know you and have been influenced by you!

Rest In Peace Richard

2010-05-03T18:07:00.003-05:00

My grandfather was a mortician (funeral director.) He used to say that death always comes in threes. Today, I have found that to be true.

A little over a week ago I wrote about my aunt's unexpected death. During the time home with my family, I commented that I would like to attend a funeral where I was not part of the family mourning. Today, I ran the sound for a funeral in the church where I work. The woman was 102 years old. She lived an amazing, godly life.

However, about an hour before the funeral, I received a call from my dad. He had the same tone as when he called to tell me about my aunt. I knew the tone because I had so recently heard it. He told me that my high school classmate Richard Carlson had died. His passing is so tragic, because in my heart I believe that God had a different plan for his life.

Richard was always a goofball. In our class of 18 - he always had a smile on his face. He was also one of 6 in my Sunday School class.

Here are some of my memories of Richard:

- On our communion retreat, Richard dared Ryan LaMont to drink all the leftovers off of everyone's plate and Ryan did it! They were very good friends in elementary.

- Throughout school Richard would always tease Emily about being "rich". The particular taunt that sticks in my mind is the daily comment about her golden toilet. Emily would just laugh in response - they both enjoyed that interaction.

- In high school, during a Friday history class when we were playing that current events game, Richard was flicking a pencil off his desk. One of the times that he flicked the pencil, it flew up my nose. Neither the teacher nor the other team understood why we were all laughing so hard.

I will always remember Richard with a smile on my face and I am deeply saddened that life got the better of him. I pray for peace for his family and those most affected by this tragic passing.

Hope amidst the sadness

2010-04-26T20:20:00.002-05:00

I want to share with you a story.

A manager of a hotel in a large city goes to work. It is a day like any other. Many people to see, tourists to direct, tasks to accomplish. Then, the ambulance has been called for one of the rooms of the hotel. It seems one of the occupants has had a heart attack. The woman is taken to the hospital with a husband following behind in shock. The manager remembers this couple - they had just checked in earlier that day. They were so excited for their bus tour the next morning.

During the night, the manager learns that the woman has passed away. That poor man is all by himself in this large city with so much to deal with. The manager decides she will help him. She comes back in the morning and takes him around. He doesn't even have a car here, and if he did - he's not going to know his way to the coroner's office. She decides to sit with him - even though there is little she can say. The man has to fill out paperwork for hours - some vacation. She bets he hasn't even eaten! He thinks he can eat a sandwich - she can at least do that. He has a flight now for the next day.

The next morning - the manager asks the man if he ate breakfast. Fruit? No, the hotel's restaurant has anything he could want. The manager leads him to a table and instructs the man to order whatever he like - on the house. The man finishes and leaves to make his flight.

The manager cannot believe the strength and courage of this man to live through what has just happened to him. To lose something so precious so far from his home. The man cannot believe the kindness of this manager. He returns home to tell of his family that has gathered around him of an angel in Washington, D.C.

Thank you angel.

death - an ever-present reality

2010-04-22T08:43:00.002-05:00

A few thoughts on Alberta Whitaker.

She was never afraid to tell me the truth. I appreciated that quality (at some points more than others.) She would never give me a haircut that would look terrible on me or that I wouldn't put the effort into maintaining.

She told me that she knew when I was very young that I would go into the ministry. She was right, sort of. I am in the ministry - but perhaps not in the capacity she had imagined. She was always supportive of me.

She was a great great mother - growing up I looked up to Amy and Jeff. Great kids come from great parents.

She was very generous - with her time, with her talent, with her love. She helped those in need - including me. I could not have finished seminary without her.

She loved God and she loved her family. That was a trait that she shared with her mother. A mother she will now spend eternity with.

Alberta - I know God is pleased with you and the way you lived your life. You have touched so many lives and though you are not here with us - your memory will be.

Easter

2010-04-04T05:38:00.004-05:00

He is Risen! He is risen indeed!

Today marks one of the busiest Easters of my life.

Sunrise Service @ 7:00 am

Breakfast following service.

Drive to Arlington.

Dinner with the extended family.

Genuinely rejoice that Easter has come!

Eat lots of bread, cereal and grains. Yay!

Sandbagging at Lake Poinsett Camp

2010-03-28T16:05:00.003-05:00

Saturday I took a group from Milbank to Lake Poinsett Camp to help sandbag. It was a fun day. My niece and nephew came from Arlington to help as well! It was such a great experience - over 100 people were there to help the camp. It is so awesome to see people band together in times of need and respond to a call for help. It is crazy to see how high the water is considering when I worked at the camp it was really really low.

Enjoy a few of my favorite pictures from the day. Can you believe it? It happened yesterday and I'm posting this today.

Randi and Sierra became fast friends.

I think it is because Sierra is more "girly" than me.

Yep. She is definitely more "girly" than me...

The afternoon got a little chilly.

Sarah and Michael helped Jeremy block the wind...

It was so great to spend the day with Randi and Jacob.

This is the whole Milbank crew plus a couple of "honorary" members.

Better Late than Never... Right?

2010-03-21T14:09:00.004-05:00

I said that today to one of my students. They were frustrated because a boy was late for Sunday School because he was playing X-Box at home. I said, "I'm just glad he decided to come." That didn't make the first student very happy. I'm seeing an application for the prodigal son parable...

Anyway - it's been awhile since my weekend trips in February and I finally took the few pictures I took off my camera about 10 minutes ago. So - my apologies for the tardiness - but enjoy another glimpse into my life as a youth pastor.

Acquire the Fire

Group Photo: Apologies to Sarah for cutting off half her face.

I was taking their pictures - so they decided to take mine.

What I love about this picture:

Seth pretending to listen.

Chance laughing at Seth's effort.

John sleeping.

Senior girls

The Lutheran Youth Pastor Mike has a captive audience.

THE CROSSING: MS YOUTH RALLY

These are the only photos I took the entire weekend. At least they were entertaining.

That's actually how they look 90% of the time...

They are pretending to be adorable and lovable... it's a trick.

I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into my life lately.

Sort Of.

2010-03-08T10:42:00.002-06:00

Sort of is kind of a filler word. People use it to give themselves time to think of what they are really trying to say. "Yeah, well, like, sort of, you know... it was good."

However, sometimes "sort of" completely changes the sentence. It can make good news not-so-good news. It can make bad news not-so-bad news.

"I love you....... sort of."

"You're going to live.... sort of."

"Congratulations! It's a boy!.... sort of."

"I am breaking up with you.... sort of."

"Yes, I think you're really funny.... sort of."

"You're fired.... sort of."

Turns out - the combination of "sort" and "of" makes for a quite a powerful little phrase. It could change your life!

Thanks to my new favorite comedian Demetri Martin for bringing that to my attention.... sort of.

Healed

2010-02-22T15:08:00.002-06:00

Healed

I am not my own for I have been set free

Jesus shed his blood on Calvary

The tears from his eyes, the blood from his crown

fell over me on Golgatha's mound.

The hurt that I felt, the wrongs I have done

Were written on his face, were worn by the Son

The shame I had known now belongs to Him

What did he do to deserve my sin?

Chorus:

I know in weakness glory is revealed

I know in suffering love is sealed

I know in mockery faith is distilled

And in your death, I am healed.

I know no greater love than this

He was beaten, mocked, tortured and dismissed

He chose the nails - It had to be this way

He'll return again and I live for that day

By the way - I wrote this.

my constant companion

2010-02-20T17:36:00.002-06:00

As you know, I gave up grains for Lent. That means no bread, cereal, baked goods, pasta or rice for me. This has caused something unexpected to enter my life... weird dreams.

The night before Lent I dreamed that I baked 3 dozen muffins. Not only that, but I ate 2 muffins before I realized that I shouldn't eat them. I felt horribly guilty and then woke up.

Ash Wednesday night: I dreamed that my only talent in the world was eating bread. I'm not really sure how that is a talent, but so many people in my dream were sad over the fact that I was giving up the only thing I was really good at. (I hope there aren't deeper issues there...)

Thursday night: I dreamed that I took out my student leaders for senior high youth group. I took them to a Chinese restaurant and ordered some sort of meat and asparagus, I think. However, when I got my order it was spaghetti (and the sauce had carrots in it like it did in New Jersey). I was so confused because it was a Chinese restaurant and I can't eat spaghetti. I went to go complain and a mob of young teenagers shove me out of the way.

Good news - last night I didn't dream about food. I dreamed that I was driving in Princeton, New Jersey trying to find the train station.

This should be one interesting Lenten season. I just hope that all these weird things don't distract me too much from why I am doing this - to remember what Christ sacrificed.

Lent

2010-02-17T13:11:00.002-06:00

Lent begins today.

Wearing liturgical color? Check.

Attending Ash Wednesday service? Check.

Give up something? Check - grains.

Kind of wishing you had picked something else to give up? Check.

I look forward to this Lenten season. As I am challenged in my diet, may I remember in my small suffering what Christ endured for me. May I grow closer to him during this time so that I may appreciate what he did on Easter all the more.

no keys - no control.

2010-02-10T15:28:00.004-06:00

I think God is trying to tell me something.

He took away my car when I couldn't get my garage door open.

He took away my computer when it completely crashed.

He took away my keys when I lost them.

However,

He gave me nice weather when I walked to work and wonderful people to dig out my door.

He gave me a new computer the very same day that I have yet to pay for.

He gave me a reminder that I have a spare key.

However,

I see my garage door snowed in again after this weekend.

I see the bill for my new computer still going unpaid and the overdraft protection notice email.

I see that my landlord still hasn't given me the extra key to the mailbox.

What's wrong with this picture? God gives and he takes away. Usually he takes away with a purpose. I know his purpose - he wants control. More accurately - he wants me to give up control. I can't seem to do it. I seem to have a death grip on my illusions of control over my life.

Solution: Keep listening to "meteor shower" by Owl City which reminds me that "I am not my own for I have been made new. Please don't let me go, I desperately need you." (1 Corinthians 6:19)

what a day

2010-02-02T21:34:00.002-06:00

When I left for work this morning, I couldn't open the garage door. I've had problems with it on and off since I've lived here, but today was the first time it mattered. I couldn't get in through the other walk-in door because it was blocked by a 3-foot snow drift. So... I walked to work.

On my way to work I dropped off my computer. This weekend it crashed again. It had happened once before and they were able to rescue it. So I leave it at the shop with little worry.

After the staff meeting I listen to a voicemail telling me my hard drive has completely crashed and she is not sure she'll be able to save anything from it. Strangely, I'm not upset. The last time I took it in, the lady had already put my pictures, files and music onto DVDs so I had almost everything anyway.

The secretary called her husband and they gave me a ride back to my apartment. He then shoveled out my walk-in door so I could open the large garage door from the inside. They are really too nice to me.

After work I decide to go pick up my computer case from the shop. While there I look at laptops since I decided I would buy a new one and might as well buy local. I end up walking out with a new computer in my case and an invoice with instructions to "pay however I can..." I'm in shock.

I finally get an oil change in my car. Severely overdue. Buy some chicken and make pot pie for supper. I am gorging on grain products right now because in 2 week I will be giving them up for 40 days.

Spent the rest of the night drooling over this new computer. It is so much fun playing around with it, downloading my music back onto it and just marveling at how fast it runs!

God is good. He provides even in the little things. I am constantly amazed.

Vacation - Highlights

2010-01-30T22:33:00.003-06:00

It's hard to know what to include in a vacation post. I will do my best to give you an idea of my vacation, both highlights and low moments (such as waking up before my 4:15 am alarm on Friday morning...)

Thursday, January 21st

Leave work early. Finally pack and head to Sioux Falls. Hang out with Nealy for the night - read during her volleyball league. Run into Gustavo Hernandez - an acquaintance from USF who recently befriended me on facebook. He asked if the baby in my profile picture was mine.

Friday, January 22nd - Travel Day

4:30 am - Leave Nealy's apartment. Roads are icy so I miss the turn onto the interstate on the bridge. Luckily no one is on the roads and I make a u-turn into the right merge lane for the interstate.

6:30 am - Flight leaves after short delay while they de-ice the plane.

9:45 am - Walking briskly through the Detroit Airport to make our next flight. I was totally unaware of how close we were to missing it.

Noon - arrive in New Jersey, split with Nealy and take a train to NYC.

3:15 pm - Board Megabus in NYC for a 4 hour bus ride to Boston.

8:30 pm - Get picked up by friends in Boston and begin my vacation there.

9:15 pm - Have Nick's Roast Beef for the first time in Beverly - so good it's almost criminal.

Saturday, January 23rd (Happy Birthday Machelle!)

Morning - spend alone in room trying to rest from day before.

Afternoon - Natalie and Anna take me to Rockport so I can see the ocean. There I bought windchimes.

Evening - Cheesecake Factory with Anna, Natalie, Ruth, Gina, Teal, Tina, Sarah L. and me.

Night - Arrive at Pastor Sarah's house to stay for the night. Have a long conversation with Tirzah and realize just how much I miss her.

Sunday, January 24th (Happy Birthday Dad!)

Morning - Go to church with Sarah, sing in the choir and thoroughly enjoy confusing the congregation. I had a lot of people say hello to me, take a few steps and then realize that I wasn't supposed to be there. Favorite reactions? Jeff and Kimie Kester - screaming might have been involved.

Noon - After church Sarah and I went to visit Wendy - the organist of the church who was recovering from surgery for tongue cancer. We learned that week that she was completely cancer free - Hallelujah!

Afternoon - Chinese food at the Frank house with the Kesters. Probably my favorite time in my entire vacation.

Night - Bus ride from Boston to NYC. Train from NYC to Princeton where Nealy and Emily were waiting for me.

Monday, January 25th

Morning: sleep.

Noon: not a whole lot.

Afternoon: short tour of Princeton Theological Seminary

Evening: Made spaghetti and met some of Emily's friends. The sauce had carrots in it - weird.

Tuesday, January 26th

Morning: Wake up on a deformed air mattress. Train to NYC (wrong train, however. Apparently we were on a "peak" train with "non-peak" tickets. Conductor was very generous however, and let us ride anyway.) Maneuver our way from Penn Station to Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Noon: Ate lunch at the museum. Think about the 13 original Van Goghs I just saw.

Afternoon: Stand in line at TKTS in Times Square to get tickets for Phantom of the Opera. Met a nice man from Indiana who was very entertaining. Check out a few stores (M&Ms, Hersheys, Toys R Us). Introduce Emily and Nealy to Black and White cookie.

Evening: See Phantom of the Opera on Broadway on it's 22nd anniversary of being on Broadway (to the day). Take train back to Princeton.

Wednesday, January 27th

Morning: sleep

Noon: Make sandwiches.

Afternoon: Take a tour of Princeton University - where dorms look like castles. Hang out at a local cafe.

Evening: Eat pizza with Emily's friends. Learn Pictionary Telephone game. Watch Love Actually.

Thursday, January 28th

Morning: sleep (see a pattern?)

Noon: make a sandwich

Afternoon: Drove around New Jersey. Saw the ocean again - for about 5 minutes because it was cold.

Evening: Eat at Windberry's - local restaurant. Watch Footloose.

Friday, January 29th

Morning: Take train to the airport.

Noon: Fly to Minneapolis.

Afternoon: Fly to Sioux Falls. Drop Nealy off. Drive to Arlington.

Evening: Eat supper with family (including brother and his family), teach them my new game, drive to LPC and pick up broomball equipment from Steve. Drive back to Milbank. Get pulled over as driving into Milbank for speeding but get a warning instead of a ticket.

Here are my pictures of the trip:

2010

Birthday at IHOP

2010-01-11T08:42:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, so we all met up at IHOP to celebrate. While there, I made sure I got a photo or two with my new nephew Kyle. I also happened to get a couple with the girls. Enjoy!

One word: Awkward.

2010-01-04T11:24:00.002-06:00

So funny story...

Last night was the church staff Christmas party. It was the pastor, his wife, the associate pastor, his wife, the secretary, her husband and me. The pastor's teenage son at the meal with us, which was kind of nice to have another young person there for a part of it.

During the evening we talked and played a couple of games. One of those games was a Christmas themed "charades." When my turn came, I got the song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." I made a gesture to show a large belly and then mocked "ho ho ho" in order to show Santa Claus. My team guessed it correctly and got the song soon after.

Skip ahead a few rounds and it's the pastor's turn. He mimics my gestures for Santa Claus, only his team (the other males) are not as observant as the female team had been. In his frustration, the pastor made the large belly gesture and then pointed towards me. He was trying to connect the gesture to what I had done a few rounds ago. The secretary's husband did not make that connection... instead he blurted out "pregnant!"

Awkward.

What I learned tonight...

2009-12-30T22:45:00.002-06:00

1. Rockband is a fun game.

2. Rockband has an accessory kit available that includes a fog machine.

3. If you use that fog machine in the church, it will set off the fire alarm.

4. The location of the key to open the fire alarm system.

5. The correct number to call when fire alarm system is triggered, but that 911 works too.

6. How to reset a fire alarm system.

7. How to air out a church building.

8. That firemen are very friendly.

9. That pastors are very forgiving.

10. That nights like these become legends in youth groups.

God is funny...

2009-12-29T14:30:00.002-06:00

So, as you can tell by my previous post - I was a little stressed this morning. This afternoon I have calmed down considerably and then this song came on and I just started laughing because it is so true! Probably the best worship song I've heard in awhile and it's from Owl City!

Meteor Shower

stress over the unexpected

2009-12-29T11:51:00.002-06:00

I usually focus on my relationships with the students when I talk about this job, but another side of this job is relating to the other members of the church. My primary focus there has been to develop relationships with parents because the more involved I am with the parents, the more involved the students seem to be. However, there is another group within the church that I, by nature of being a youth worker, bump into a lot - the elderly.

I have a great respect for the elderly. My church in MA was about 80% elderly and I absolutely loved it. The problem I run into is that they only come to me when they are frustrated with something connected to the youth. "Who moved that carpet ball game in the fellowship hall? It is so loud and distracting while I'm trying to drink my coffee!" "This hasn't happened with you, but sometimes the kids hide in the kitchen for their games - we would rather they didn't do that..."

They don't sound so bad, but it is this general sense that kids are disruptive and disrespectful and it is my job to just control them. I don't see it that way. Yes, the game can be disruptive, but the church is here for the kids as much as the adults and elderly. The difference - the kids are willing to share the space.

Today I just found out that I have to make some abrupt changes to a game night I have had planned for a few weeks because there is a funeral in the church the next morning. That's not a big deal - I understand that funerals are out of the blue and you have to make adjustments. What got to me was that the lady in charge of the service group didn't tell me when they were coming in and where they were going to be in the church. She didn't check the calendar. It's like the youth are an afterthought at best. It was good that I just happened to walk out of my office as she was talking to the secretary or I wouldn't have known that my praise team supper and game night were going to have to be reworked and relocated.

I think I have everything under control now - but it has been a stressful half an hour as I sent out text messages - posted announcements all in caps on Facebook and responded to disappointed students who were looking forward to inviting friends to play predator. I know that it is not the end of the world, but I wish that the youth would be seen as a valid group within this church. They have claims to the building just as the adults do. That just seems to get overlooked.

I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for reading!

The Countdown Continues...

2009-12-21T09:53:00.002-06:00

The kids in Milbank are beginning to realize just how much I used to love and in all honesty still love the Muppets. Here is a clip from A Muppet Christmas Carol that tugs at the heartstrings. It was between this song and the song featuring Marley and Marley (the two old grumpy men muppets...) Enjoy!

Next on the Countdown...

2009-12-20T18:31:00.002-06:00

Home Alone is my favorite Christmas movie. I know, I know. I should be saying something like It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas or something, but that would be a lie. Every year we watch Home Alone and every year I laugh hysterically at all the pranks Harry and Marv endure trying to rob little Kevin's house. When this movie came out I was roughly the same age as Kevin, perhaps a little younger. I remember spending hours in my room making all sorts of traps to catch intruders (none of which worked...) All this to say - this movie definitely makes me think of being home at Christmas. Below is a little montage of some of Harry and Marv's suffering. Enjoy!

Countdown to Christmas

2009-12-20T15:45:00.002-06:00

I'm having a hard time with Christmas this year. It just doesn't feel right for some reason. So, I have decided to share with you a few things that remind me of Christmas. Today is a video of Bing Crosby and David Bowie singing "O Drummer Boy" from 1977. I know this predates me, but Bing Crosby reminds me a lot of my Grandpa Henry. Enjoy!

Balloons and Pantyhose

2009-12-17T17:49:00.004-06:00

What do balloons and pantyhose have to do with Christmas? Why - they turn middle schoolers into reindeer of course! These were too funny not to share. Merry Christmas!

Daily Wisdom Calendar

2009-12-14T09:13:00.002-06:00

I have this "Daily Wisdom for a New Century" calendar on my desk. I inherited it with the office when I started my new job. Every day I am in the office I flip it to the correct date and read the pearl of wisdom (or in some cases the 'so-called' pearl of wisdom.) Today, however, it really hit home.

From Albert Schweitzer - a German/French theologian, missionary physician and Nobel Peace Prize recipient:

"I believe that I possess this value: to serve Jesus. I am less at peace than if my goal would be to attain a professorship and a good life, but I live. And that gives me the tremendous feeling of happiness, as if one would see a ray of light in a deep pit, as if one would hear music. One feels uprooted, because one asks, what lies ahead, what decisions should I make - but more alive, happier than those anchored in life. To drift with released anchor."

What really struck me is his example of "professorship" since that is the goal I have been striving toward until very recently. My situation here has caused me to pause and examine my goals. This quote has reminded me and convicted me that my goal is to serve Jesus. It is as simple and as difficult as that.

Locks of Love

2009-12-09T21:31:00.004-06:00

So, tonight was Donation night for Middle School Youth Fellowship and as promised - I got my haircut. 14 inches of it were donated to Locks of Love. Here are a couple of pictures to show the change and a video of the actual event. The video is kind of long, but it also gives you a little glimpse into my life on Wednesday nights with middle school. Enjoy!

Long Hair - really really long hair.

14 inch ponytail in my hand. One of the kids said it looked like a horse's tail.

Appropriate.

Girls Fun Night

2009-11-30T11:35:00.002-06:00

This Saturday night we had a Girls Fun Night - the counterpart to Boys Night Out. The girls did not disappoint - we had about 10 high school girls show up for a night of games, nachos and watching my Daren Streblow DVD.

This night, more than anything, was another in a long line of learning experiences for me. First of all, girls do not interact with each other like boys do. Second, girls do everything together. I forgot this. I have spent so much time on my own, that I forgot about the natural tendency girls have to do things together - as one large group. At Boys Night Out - there were only 3 boys and only 2 times during the course of the evening were they all doing the same activity at the same time - when we ate and when we watched the Tim Hawkins video. With the girls - only 2 points in the evening did they not do something all together - and they were very brief. I am not saying this is a bad thing - just wasn't expecting it.

I am thankful for the wonderful young women here in Milbank. In some ways it is a little more difficult for me to interact with the girls because it reminds me so much more of when I was in high school - I see myself in these girls. It is a good kind of challenge, though.

On Sunday morning, I brought muffins to Sunday School. I was a little tired, but nothing compared to the students who showed up. It was like talking about miracles to a bunch of zombies. I should have been running for the door fearing for my life...except these zombies didn't really move. They didn't really talk. They didn't really react to anything...except the muffins.

Sunday evening we had youth and it was good, but strange. I had a lot of kids that have never come before and a few that I know to be members of other churches. I had a pretty good feeling they were there to play the game we were going to play after the lesson. The dynamics were a lot different last night and without any other adult support - I was a little nervous as to how the night would go. I think it went well - don't know how much they cared about my awesome lesson on Advent - but we were creating memories.

I keep reminding myself that it is not my job to make them commit to being a Christian. My job is to keep pointing to Christ and trusting that God will use what I do for his glory - even my many many mistakes.

this brightened my day...

2009-11-25T10:29:00.001-06:00

I was having a rough morning dealing with things way out of my comfort zone - but this video made it better. Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Top 10

2009-11-22T22:48:00.003-06:00

Tonight I made my students write a Top Ten List of experiences they are thankful for.

Numbers 1-3 are experiences where they were really happy.

Numbers 4-6 were everyday moments.

Numbers 7-9 were challenging times.

Number 10 was whatever they chose.

Here is my list:

1. My last day at Immanuel Church. Seems strange to be on my really happy list - but I was so overcome by the love of that church that day.

2. Graduating from USF - I worked really hard during college and that day meant so much to me.

3. Waking up in Paris on my 21st birthday with my two best friends. Once in a lifetime opportunity.

4. Playing ring around the rosy with my youngest niece - Lizzy. She always falls down before you sing "all fall down" and it makes me laugh every time.

5. Baking my first pie this summer - I was so happy to be home and in a kitchen again.

6. Sleeping in and waking up without my alarm going off - I would do that everyday if I could.

7. My Grandpa Rowen's funeral - the moment where Steve, Terri and Bridgett walked in and I lost it. It gave me the strength and encouragement I needed to face that day.

8. The last time I saw my Grandma Rowen - I had to change my entire schedule that week and get an earlier flight from MA - and even when I got there I didn't know what to say.

9. Being in the hospital room when Grandpa Henry died - I was not prepared for that - but was surrounded by family.

10. My extra experience was the Milbank Homecoming football game. It was the first time someone invited me to sit with them - so I really enjoyed myself. Also - it was the beginning of Milbank's winning streak that led them to the dome - quite a memorable experience!

I hope that this thanksgiving - you are thanking God for the experiences in your life that have shaped who you are - the great, the difficult and all the little moments in between! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Milbank - Home of the 2009 11A Football Champions!

2009-11-13T12:17:00.003-06:00

Yesterday was a good day.

I slept in - I had time to myself as I drove to Vermillion.

I talked with a friend.

I watched the Milbank football team win their first ever state title.

I hung out with another friend.

Watched a volleyball game somewhere in northeastern Sioux Falls.

Watched an awesomely awful romantic comedy with said friend.

Sent and recieved over 100 text messages. (My mother even saw me on tv texting...oops!)

What really stands out to me though - is the sense of community I encountered. I was in contact with friends all over the country yesterday - supporting me in what I was doing and where I was going. I was also surrounded by the Milbank community as we cheered on the football team.

I wish I had something more profound to say - but ultimately - I am just grateful that I have communities to be a part of. Whether they are defined by physical residence or common interest or shared history. We are meant to live in community - and yesterday I did.

let's start at the very beginning

2009-11-09T11:06:00.002-06:00

A very good place to start.

This week we began to tackle some of the questions that were asked last week. When I thought about where to start - it dawned on me that we need to start with the most fundamental belief in any religion - the existence of God. If we cannot overcome our hesitations on this question - no other question really matters.

After discussing a few topics relating to God and completely confusing the students with a sidetrack into philosophy - I decided we should reflect on the times we were convinced of God's presence in our lives. We broke into pairs and talked about ways in which we are assured God acts in our lives. One leader talked of the time she fell asleep and drove through an intersection with her two kids in the car - unharmed. In that moment - she knew God existed and acted. Another student brought up the first time they encountered speaking in tongues and the reassurance that the Holy Spirit is very real and present - even if they don't have that specific gift. The fact it exists was enough to show him God's existence. Another talked about all the little things that have happened this year during the football season. All the little breaks they were able to take advantage of that has allowed them to head to the dome to play the championships this year.

The whole point was to show that God is active and speaking in our lives - even without the burning bushes. We just have to pay attention. The more we recognize God's involvement in our lives - the easier it is to trust Him. The more we see him being faithful - the easier it will be for us to believe it.

Sometimes it is difficult for us to see how God is active in our lives. Our tendency is to focus on the negative or difficult moments in our lives and ask why God wasn't there. What I suggested to the students and I would suggest to anyone who reads this blog is to ask those around you if they have noticed God working in your life. You might be surprised at their answers. I am sure if I asked you to tell me an instance of where you've seen God working in the life of someone you know - you wouldn't have to think very long before finding an example. Perhaps you should tell them - encourage them.

I also learned this week that people are very good at putting on the facade of a good Christian when they are really hurting inside. God wants an honest relationship with you - imperfections - issues - struggles - doubts - all of it. The more honest you can be - the more God can use you.

May you be as blessed in what God has called you to do as I have been by these students!

I've opened the can of worms...finally

2009-11-01T22:17:00.002-06:00

Tonight's youth group was amazing. I don't know how it happened, but something changed. We started by playing a simple game of defending stupid convictions like which football team is better, etc. Then we sang a song. Then we began to talk about the hope of a Christian and before I knew it I was being flooded with questions.

"How do I know God exists?" "Why did Moses get a burning bush and I get nothing?"
"How I can trust that the Bible is true?" "How do I know that Jesus really existed?"

"What happens to people after they die, but before the return of Christ?"

"Why did God allow humans to sin?" "Why did he let Lucifer fall?"

"What about evolution?" "Why doesn't our church talk about speaking in tongues?"
"How did you get from asking all these questions to becoming our youth pastor?"

Once they started - their heads started to spin. I knew exactly what they were going through. One question brings up another question and another and none of them are easily answered. This was what I had been waiting for. This was the moment I had been working toward these last few months - this is why I am here for them.

Youth lasted an extra hour tonight and I didn't even get to half the stuff I planned. It was wonderful - God moved in a major way.

This is a learning experience...

2009-10-19T21:29:00.001-05:00

The title is a phrase I am borrowing from Steve Foss. I have seen him the last two weekends and will see him this coming weekend as well. His presence in my life is one of the many blessings I have experienced since moving back to SD.

On Saturday we had Boys Night Out. A grand total of 3 high school boys showed up. I also had 3 adult males there - so that's a good ratio. The final group of three included me and the couple who owned the house. The size of the group did not limit the fun, however. It was a great night and I enjoyed spending time playing games and getting to know these young men. Hopefully the next time we have the event more will come. In time, though... in time.

At youth on Sunday, I got to play an electric guitar for the first time. The praise team consisted of me and the pastor's son who is an accomplished musician. He decided it would be better for him to play the drums - and I would play guitar and sing. That's sort of a lot of pressure, but I think it turned out well. I was having fun. Felt a bit like a rock star with the electric guitar. He put some effect on it for the song "It is you" by the Newsboys which made it sound really cool.

Other highlights - we did communion with grapes and wheat thins as a way to remember we are all in this Christian journey together. One student came up to me later wanting to know more music by Brandon Heath because I played "Give Me Your Eyes" during our offering time. The students are banding together to help a former youth pastor from this church who recently found out he has a form of cancer. I hope that if I needed help like that someday that they would feel inclined to do for me what they are doing for him.

I told someone today that the more I do this job - the more I find I must do. The more I learn, the more I realize I have yet to learn. I think if there was a lesson that characterized my life that would be it. No matter how much I know - it will only open doors for me to learn more. I came into this job knowing very little - so I have many doors to go through.

The Journey: Senior High Youth Rally

2009-10-11T19:22:00.002-05:00

I had a not so subtle hint from a friend that I should post about my weekend at the High School Youth Rally - and to my own astonishment - I'm writing it already!

Every year the Dakotas Conference of the United Methodist Church holds two rallies for its youth - the Senior High Rally now called "The Journey" is in the fall. The Middle School Rally "The Crossing" is held in March. I would say spring, but this is the Dakotas - you just never know. For example, it is October, but when I awoke Saturday morning - there was some snow on the ground. Welcome home, Katie.

So, Friday I packed three girls and their stuff into my little car. I had one cancellation due to illness, so that allowed me to drive my car to Mitchell rather than the church van. I drove the church van around Milbank on Thursday and let's just say God had His hand in providing a way for me to NOT drive that van! Anyone who knows me knows I dislike driving large vehicles - so there you go.

We had to make a stop in Arlington so I could pick up my sleeping bag at my parents' house. Oops! But one of the girls decided to actually leave the vehicle and meet my parents and my dog. The other two girls opted to stay in the car and become mutes for the rest of the trip. They communicated mostly through a serious of smiles and smirks with the occasional rolling of the eyes. Although I attempted to crack the code - I've never been very committed to studying languages... especially languages of teenage girls with attitudes.

The actually youth rally went well. I recognized many of the youth workers from working at the camp. I had a lot of people look at me, cock their head to one side, scrunch up their face and say "I know you from somewhere, don't I?" Even so, I was by myself for most of the weekend. The kids had lecture times, small group times, arts village times, option times, eating times, etc. I did not have to attend the small group or option times, so I spent that time staring off into space, or bothering my old boss Steve. He was there to promote Lake Poinsett Camp, so I did my part to help. I also did volunteer to help lead the scripture drama section of the arts village - which was enjoyable as well. It is so easy for me to forget how much I loved and still love theater.

One other small story from this weekend. We stayed at Dakota Wesleyan University and slept in their gym. On Saturday night, the football team returned victorious and needed to put their equipment away. Well, just so happens that the girls from our event use their locker rooms for showering, etc. So, I stood out in the hallway partly directing girls to wait for their showers until the football players are gone and partly waiting myself since the adult women bathroom area was also a locker room. So, there I was standing in the hallway holding my pajamas and toothpaste, etc talking to another youth worker from ND. We were trading college experiences. She dated a jock - I read books. She dated a track star - I read books. She married another track star - I read books... and so on. Then I look up and see a familiar face - a guy who graduated from USF. We don't know each other well, but I remembered his name and before I knew it I called after him. It was very evident that he didn't know me. I introduced myself and after a momentary pause the lightbulb went on in his mind and he said, "Oh yeah! You were really smart, right?" I'm still not sure how one responds to that... awkward.

Today we returned in the early afternoon. I have spent the rest of the day firmly planted on my couch watching the beginning of Robin Hood Season 2. I highly recommend this show. It is British, well-written, a mixture of action and comedy and did I mention Richard Armitage is in it? Oh yeah. :)

Brandon Heath!

2009-09-25T22:40:00.003-05:00

Brandon Heath in Fargo, ND

Last night I went to Fargo, ND to see the Feed the Hungry tour with Leeland and Brandon Heath! It was a great show. At one point I was actually 1 foot away from Brandon waiting to talk to him, but he was talking to another couple and I couldn't bring myself to interrupt. Oh well. I did get an awesome t-shirt and 3 kids for my youth groups to sponsor. Not only that, but I got to hang out with my cousin Amanda and her husband Tabb.

On the way home this morning I nearly ran out of gas in North Dakota. The gas light was on for nearly 20 miles before I found a gas station. I kept praying to God to make the gas last. I was stressing - who wants to be stranded on the interstate in ND? There's very little south Fargo before you hit the SD border (I know that now!)

It was a great trip and I wish I would have taken a picture with Amanda and Tabb! Gosh...what was I thinking?

SYATP

2009-09-23T08:25:00.002-05:00

So much has been happening. Last week my life went into chaos mode and doesn't show signs of slowing - which I love. HS and MS youth fellowships have begun - youth praise band is going well (they improve each week).

Yesterday I went to Pipestone, MN (112 miles away) to visit my former seminary roommate, Jen. She was in MN visiting family and we took advantage of the fact we were so close to one another. It was so wonderful to see her and meet her family! I was told that I was the first of her seminary friends to meet her parents and her younger brother Micah. They are a truly great family and I can't wait for Jen's other seminary friends to meet them!

It was a quick trip, though, because I had to wake up early this morning for See You At The Pole! SYATP is a student lead prayer time around the school's flagpole. It is a nationwide event that happens the 4th Wednesday of September every year. Last year 20 kids met around the Milbank flagpole, this year we had 75! It does a heart good to see so many students get up early to come and pray. I am sure that the promise of free donuts was a small draw for some students though...

What I really enjoyed about this morning is that we had many of the pastors from Milbank's churches present. There were Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Assembly of God and others all present. What a showing of the unity of the body of Christ! I hope that the success of this event leads to more projects that we can do together.

I better not make this any longer. I have phone calls to make before heading back to the school to eat lunch with the students. Tomorrow I am going to Fargo, ND to see Brandon Heath in concert with my cousin. So excited for that!

Thank you all for being patient with me as I find time to share my experiences.

Snapshot of Today

2009-09-09T21:23:00.002-05:00

9:00 Go to work: Been working on some powerpoints for this Sunday (Rally Sunday). Today I was adding music slides and doing some other editing. Also went through music book in office to create a list of music for the youth praise band to learn.

11:45 Minor crisis with the copier in the office. As I am trying to leave for lunch since I actually had plans today, they recruit my help. My advice - restart the machine. And it worked.

12:05 Meet up with Mike, the Lutheran youth pastor and head over to the high school. We get our visitors badges and proceed to hang up SYATP posters. Visited with two ladies who were recruiting for Snow Queen (shared my embarassing Snow Queen story). We made our way to the lunch room to eat with some high school students. Menu was corn dogs. We stayed in the lunch room and talked with students (but did not eat.)

1:14 Head to Subway with Mike for lunch. Way better than corndogs.

2:00 Return to work for an hour before leaving again because I don't feel well.

3:30 Watch a Netflix, laying on the couch, slowly feeling better.

7:00 Arrive at Milbank High School to listen to a speaker, Pam Stenzel, talk about sex education. She was actually very good. Favorite thing she said: Opposites may attract for personalities, but character always attracts character. You will date what you are.

9:30 Watching Federer on the US OPEN - Soderling does not even have a chance...

On another note - a friend told me today that I have a "wealth of patience and servant-heartedness" That is the nices compliment I've recieved in a very long time. So thank you.

Planning and Prayer

2009-08-29T22:47:00.002-05:00

This week has been a lot of making contacts. Early in the week I made up and sent out a newsletter to every household with children in middle school and high school. Then I emailed every email address I could find in my office as well as add every student I could find on Facebook. Not to mention fielding new text messages from students who now have my number via my newsletter. It is sort of strange to put so much effort in putting myself out there just hoping people will respond to me without actually having met me or having only met me briefly.

One major accomplishment for the week was buying and assembling my bookshelf. I needed another bookshelf in the office because I just have a lot of books (didn't even bring them all to the office!) There is a scratch in one side, but other than that it turned out pretty well considering I did it all on my own.

The other major accomplishment was beginning to plan for my first joint event with another church - See You At the Pole. It is a nation-wide event where students gather around the flagpole at their school early in the morning to pray. They pray for their teachers, leaders, coaches up through state-wide, national and world leaders. It was something I did in high school and I'm excited to take part in it again.

Thursday night I went to a board of education meeting. Basically, I teach the high school Sunday School class and then later Sunday afternoon - they see me again for youth fellowship. That's a lot of Katie in one day, I think. Especially considering I have to come up with stuff to do - they don't have any sort of expectation or curriculum for me to use. It has been suggested to me that I write my own curriculum or to study a specific book - so perhaps I will come up with a few options and discuss them with the students on Rally Sunday.

On a slightly more interesting and fun note, my parents and my brother's children came to visit today! It was so great for them to be in my apartment - I think I got the seal of approval from the kids. Randi really liked my bathroom and my shoe racks...random I know. Randi and Jacob also liked sitting on my balcony and eating their strawberry fruit bars. Lizzie enjoyed the park across the street. Overall - a successful trip.

I have a lot to look forward to this coming week. My first home sporting events, friends coming to visit and Lifelight is next weekend - first youth activity for me. Pray for me. Please. :)

First Week

2009-08-21T09:04:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe it is already Friday! This week went by very quickly. I have been to a couple of meetings which, more than anything else, remind me that I have a job now. I have been able to talk with a variety of people about the youth group and get some very helpful input. As a new person to the church and town, I am relying on the grace of others to point me in the right direction as far as who to contact, etc.

I have been fortunate enough to make a friend of my neighbor in the apartment building. She is a teacher at the high school, but only lives in Milbank during the week. She spends her weekends in Doland with her husband, so her apartment is her second home. She is very good about stopping by and asking how my day was. Yesterday we went for a walk between rain showers. I am very grateful for that company right now.

I also finally met my landlord yesterday, the infamous Dewey. In the whole process of looking for and renting and moving into this apartment, I had not met him. He finally got some rent out of me and he fixed the tub in the bathroom - I would say that is a "win, win, win" situation. :)

My Dad was also in town yesterday and brought with him some fresh garden produce. It was so nice to sit in my livingroom chatting with my dad about my new job. He was also able to see my office and sit on the couch in there as well. I think my office couch is more comfortable than my apt. couch - but perhaps that is just me :)

Tomorrow I am off and off to Watertown to do a little shopping. After a week of work, there are certain things I realized I need - such as a day planner, a ready supply of candy, etc.

I feel a little overwhelmed, but to borrow a phrase from Steve Foss, this is all a "learning experience" and I am grateful for it.

Discover your values

2009-08-18T14:45:00.001-05:00

Thought this was interesting...

There are 16 main values a person can have:

freedom, fun, faith, positive attitude, leadership, knowledge, integrity, respect, accomplishment, family, money, friendship, service, empathy, influence, and love

Which one value would you give up to keep the other 15?

Which 5 values would you give up to keep the other 10?

What 4 values would you give up to keep the other 6?

What 3 of the 6 remaining values would you give up to keep the other 3?

Which 1 of the 3 remaining values would you give up to keep the final 2?

Your core values are:

_______________________________________________

From the desk of...

2009-08-18T08:30:00.003-05:00

I have a desk. I have an office. I have a job and later today I will have a couch and loveseat.

This summer I spent so much time sitting around and waiting and now I am here and I wish I had more time to figure out what I am doing. That's how things go, though... at least for me. I was introduced to the church on Sunday in both services. My mom is awesome and stayed with me Saturday night and went to church with me on Sunday. What a trooper!

I am looking forward to the many challenges and opportunities this job will provide. I ask that if you follow this blog that you will pray for me. Pray for wisdom, insight, energy and infinite patience. Pray also for the youth that they may grow this year. Perhaps don't pray to give them energy, however :)

I will try to update this blog once a week about the events in my life as it will now become exponentially more interesting than it was this summer.

I GOT THE JOB!

2009-07-27T12:54:00.001-05:00

I got the job. Praise the Lord.

Everything in His time.

My Mission: Do Something

2009-07-21T22:17:00.006-05:00

I've spent most of this summer doing very little. My excuse: waiting. Recently I have decided to keep myself busy while I wait and therefore have had some great experiences. Let me show you.

First - I've been baking again.

This is raisin pie. We saw someone make it on the Martha Stewart Show, so Mom and I thought we would try it. It's the first pie that I've made with a top crust, but I'm not sure I should claim it since Mom actually made the crust. Pretty good pie, though.

This was my first attempt at making a two-layer cake. It's devil's food chocolate with white frosting in the middle and a chocolate frosting with chocolate chips on the outside. Very yummy. Not pictured is the birthday cake that my mom and I made for my Grandma Henry. Also very good.

Speaking of my Grandma Henry's birthday, which is on the 4th of July, here are some pictures from that day. This one is my sister-in-law Machelle with a large griddle behind her head.

This is my brother Dan. He taught me how to ride a four-wheeler that day. Now I have an open invitation to ride his four-wheeler whenever I would like. So far I have only taken him upon it once, when Emily and I hung out together.

This is my mom and my little niece Lizzy. I love this picture. Lizzy actually loves getting her picture taken. Any time she sees a camera she'll pick it up and say "Cheese!" but she won't smile. Goofball.

This photo was taken on a hay ride prior to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Pageant in DeSmet, SD. The lady with me is my aunt Karen.
This is the whole gang who went to the pageant based on the novel "A Long Winter" by Laura Ingalls Wilder who lived in DeSmet with her family. With me is my cousin Stacy, my aunt Karen and Stacy's daughter Jaiden. Stacy currently lives in Texas, so the cool night air was a little too much for her and her daughter.
I'll end on this super adorable shot of my dog Chester. How can you not love a face like that? :)

I have plans to go to Kansas City this weekend to visit my seminary friend Anna. Hopefully I will take some pictures and have some fun stories to relate. Until then...

Working on Patience

2009-07-14T18:06:00.002-05:00

I had planned to write on this blog again when I had some good news. Well, it seems that good news is slow in coming, so I will write with what I know now.

I have interviewed twice for a youth ministry position. My last interview was a week and a half ago and today I received a phone call that was positive, but informed me that a decision was another week or two away. It probably wouldn't be so trying for me except that the last time I had to wait an extra week or two resulted in me not getting the job.

Pastor Sarah and I were discussing my impending job situation before I left MA. In that discussion, we realized that God has always provided jobs for me with relative ease on my part. I have never experienced the anxiety of waiting quite like I have the last two months and it's difficult.

I really would love this job. Working for the church sure trumps an office job for a girl like me. While I love organization, I love God more. While predictable hours and coworkers have their appeal, so does playing games and music and digging into the Word as my job.

Please pray for me. I need it.

Pray for:
- Patience so I don't lose heart
- Understanding so I don't lose patience
- Love for the church in Milbank no matter the outcome

Hopefully the next time I post I'll have more to say.

Pine Ridge Trip

2009-06-24T15:33:00.003-05:00

I'm going to cheat a little and copy an email I wrote to a friend about last weekend. Nealy and I went out to Pine Ridge to visit our friend Emily who has been living there for the past two years as a volunteer at Red Cloud High School. It was a fun weekend, but it definitely gave me a lot to think and pray about.

So I left on Friday in a panic because I couldn't find my debit card. My mom and I tore the house apart looking for it, then went down to my grandma's in case I dropped it in her car, then to the bank in order to get cash. Turned out that it was stuck in the dryer - oops! Then I drove 1.5 hours to Sioux Falls to meet up with my friend Nealy. I hope that if you take trips with your friends that you have a friend like Nealy - she's so prepared. She brought all kinds of snack food including an entire cantaloupe that we finished off on the way there.

It takes about 5.5 hours from Sioux Falls to get to Pine Ridge. We drove along the end of the Badlands for part of it. I'm not sure if you have heard of the Badlands, but they are really cool.

Saturday we hung out and had pumpkin cookies and then went to a powwow. I've never been to one of those before - didn't really know what to expect. Basically it is a dancing competition. There are 3 different types of dancing for men and women. Men can do traditional, fancy, or grass dancing. Women can do traditional, fancy shawl or jingle. My favorite is the men's traditional because that is what I think of when I think of native dancing, but I also really like the grass and jingle dancers. The least exciting is the women's traditional because they stand in one place and bend their knees to the beat. Perhaps they will rotate a bit, but that's about it.

Sunday we went to church then went to this place called "Bette's Kitchen" which is a restaurant that is run out of Bette's house. Bette lives in a double wide trailer house in a town called Manderson. What is really cool about this place is that you can eat outside and look over some amazing scenery. Western South Dakota is so different than where I am from - much more interesting.

The whole experience was eye-opening for me. It was like being in another country in my own state. I saw some very historical sites including where the Massacre of Wounded Knee happened. I encourage you to look up that story - it's heart breaking in so many ways. How we have treated the natives is horrendous and has certainly taken its toll on these people. It is a place of poverty and violence and is only beginning to reclaim its proud heritage.

Sad News

2009-06-17T20:06:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to let all of you know that I heard from the South Dakota Humanities Council about their program director position. I didn't get the job. I'm okay with it. It's hard to be rejected, but in the end I am confident that God will provide. Thank you for praying for that job and I ask you to keep me in your prayers as I continue to look for a job. Right now I am applying for a youth pastor job in Milbank, SD.

This weekend I am heading to Pine Ridge with Nealy to visit our dear friend Emily. So excited for this little road trip! I'll update again once we return.

Until then....

What fills my time...

2009-06-09T23:01:00.003-05:00

Here is a list of things I have done or watched recently:

- Going for walks in the country. Well, that is until the weather decided June should resemble late March...

- Watching North and South which never gets old.

- Finishing an application for a job as a youth minister.

- Going camping at Lake Oakwood in the rain and cold

- Watching Roger Federer win the French Open!!!

- Laughing at http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com

- Watching clips from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

- Attaining Professional status in Wii Bowling

- Going out to eat and playing Wii with my friend Jill and her daughter Cayli

- Talking to various friends about their "youth ministry philosophies"

- Waiting to hear about a job - now I won't find out until June 16th. Ugh.

I hope this post finds you in the middle of doing something fascinating.

Welcome to Arlington

2009-05-31T13:03:00.005-05:00

Grandma Henry's house at the edge of town.

One of the three grain elevators in our town. This one is the biggest.

More grain storage. Down the street from my house.

I used to live here until I was 5. Hard to recognize the house with all the "stuff" hindering your view.

This is not technically in Arlington. I have a lot of field pictures from outside of Arlington as well as our trip to Flandreau and the surrounding country. This might located near Trent, SD.

Mainstreet on a Saturday afternoon.

Every town has a watertower with its name on it. Our tower has the school mascot - the cardinal.

The city park. In the distance is the swimming pool, tennis court, and sand volleyball pit.

This is a section of town that is being developed. The mass of trees in the distance is the cemetary. In South Dakota, if you see a group of trees - they are serving a purpose.

This is probably my favorite picture of the day. The parking lot for the Lutheran Church.

This is the shed where we keep the bikes. Mine is currently at the camp so we've restored my mom's bike and I've been using that. I actually like it a lot better than my own bike.

My dad sells and services fire extinguishers. We have a few.

Last picture of the day - our house from the back.

For those of you never fortunate enough to visit Arlington, I hope this gives you a little glimpse into prairie life.

For those of you who have been fortunate to either visit or live in Arlington, I hope this allows you to see your town in a new light.

the map in my mind

2009-05-26T22:02:00.002-05:00

Today is Natalie's birthday. Happy Birthday!

Today Jen left for Uruguay. Safe travels my friend!

Today Machelle learned the due date for her baby - her birthday. Congrats!

It has been a pretty quiet day for me, despite the previous list.

Sometimes I imagine a map of the United States in my mind. It would be something akin to the map on the movie Men in Black. Don't mock me for my movie references, please. :) On my map there are pins that mark all of the people I know or have known. I imagine what they are doing right now as I sit in my room in South Dakota. Sometimes the map is larger - to include all of my international friends. Lately, it has included Africa when I think and pray for Jana. It includes Germany when I think and pray for Fabian and Anke.

If you are reading this, more than likely you have a pin in my map. I am thinking of you and praying for you. I have a lot of time to do that as I wait to hear about a job.

__________________________________________________

Yesterday was Memorial Day. I was going to write and post a beautiful picture of our Avenue of Flags. However, it was very windy and they took down the flags 3 hours before they said they were going to, so I wasn't able to get a picture. Without the picture, the post didn't happen. That isn't to say I didn't celebrate. I have always loved Memorial day and now that both of my grandpas have passed away - it is even more important for me to celebrate and remember.

oh what a beautiful day!

2009-05-24T22:19:00.002-05:00

Today we had people over to our house for lunch in honor of my seminary graduation. It was a very informal thing, but I was really glad my parents suggested doing it. There were little kids running around, I saw friends and cousins and aunts and one uncle :) that I haven't seen since Christmas - which was great.

I also dug out my mom's bicycle from the back corner of an old shed we have. My bike is currently at the camp and will stay there until I get serious about getting it. Until then I will ride my mom's awesome bike. This bike has been through a lot. When I was a little girl, we were on our way camping and were pulling a camper and our boat. All of our bikes were in the boat and something happened that caused the boat to tip over while going down the highway (I don't remember what caused it). Anyway, my mom's bike took the worst beating (the seat is held together with electrical tape.) Other than that, it is in great condition and I'm excited to ride it around.

For those of you who were admiring my pies - they went over well. The strawberry pie was gone right away and I got raves on the strawberry rhubarb pie as well. The rhubarb custard was pretty good, too. It was sure fun to make them and would be glad to have an excuse to make a pie again!

Finally, I think I fixed the issues with leaving comments on this blog. If you have tried and didn't succeed - try and try again. If it still doesn't work - email me at kjrowen@gmail.com

Until next time...

I dreamed of days like this...

2009-05-23T19:42:00.004-05:00

I used to sit in my room at seminary and ponder all of the things I could do once I returned to South Dakota. Today was a day filled with those small wonders and I actually documented most of it with a camera (not typical for me!) Enjoy some snapshots into my life...literally.

Mom bought a motorcycle in the fall. Today was the first time she rode it. For all of you who find it difficult to imagine my mother on a motorcycle - this is for you.

This is Elizabeth (Lizzy). It should be illegal to be this cute.

As my mother says, it's nearly impossible to take a bad photo of Randi.

I baked three pies today. Starting at the top and moving clockwise:

1. Strawberry Pie

2. Strawberry-Rhubarb Crumble Pie (this was the inaugural pie in my "pi" plate)

3. Rhubarb Custard Pie (Randi asked me if that was celery pie. haha.)

Waiting and Hopefully Not Wasting

2009-05-22T20:55:00.002-05:00

Welcome to my new blog. Since I am no longer a seminarian - I didn't feel it was appropriate to write on my seminary adventure blog. One could argue that life after seminary is part of the adventure that is seminary - but when I enter a new phase of my life - I start a new blog.

A little snapshot into my day:

Today I helped my mother who was filling in at my sister-in-law's daycare for part of the day. Lunchtime over there is chaotic with six children - two of them infants. I was feeding babies, cutting pizza into smaller and smaller pieces, laying kids down for naps, picking kids up because they were crying, on and on and on. Let's just say I have a whole new level of respect for Machelle.

My niece Lizzie sat on my lap, though. We sat and watched tv. I take joy in these little moments as I wait to see where life takes me next.