My New Reality

Today marks the start of orientation at my seminary.  Since I work in Admissions as my work study job, we've been busy preparing for this day for the last couple of weeks, and even before.  It has been such a joy to see the new students coming in, to match faces with names that I recognize from my various duties.  Their presence energizes me for the busy year ahead.

This year I will be splitting my time between classes, work in Admissions and a field placement site as a chaplain at a continuing care facility.  I will be busy, but I work well with busy.  It's when I have very little to do that I get very little done.  This year I know that I will have to rely on God more than ever before to get me through all the challenges of time management, social life, and requirements for my classes and for commissioning.

The reality of my calling inches ever nearer.  This summer I worked at a United Methodist Church in Peoria, IL.  The highlight of my time there was preaching at a service called "Loaves & Fish" which was part of a soup kitchen ministry within the church.  I was so nervous the first time.  I was worried that I wouldn't say anything worthwhile or that they would just check out.  However, I was wrong. I was amazed to see how God shows up in a powerful way.  Not because of me, but through me and through the people in the room.  That experience taught me that God will use you, that if God has put you in that position and you have faith - God will use you.

So as I step forward into this year, I am trusting that this is where God has put me.  This place, these people, these experiences are all part of the journey of my life and God will be there through it all.

My prayer for this year is to live out, as best as I am able through the power of the Holy Spirit, this prayer from St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console,
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


Amen.

Wrestling with difficult questions...

Today has been a day for wrestling with questions of morals and ethics.  In class we talked about moral decisions in light of medical advancements and how we face questions today that just weren't around 50 years ago.  So many of our technological advancements have made life profoundly better, but they come at a cost.  Life is longer, but what is the kind of life that is extended?

I am going to connect two thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head, but please understand that I mean no dis-respect.  They are connected primarily out of the timing that they have happened in relation to the class I am taking.

This past weekend my parents had to take the family cat, Shadow, to the vet to be put down.  She was a very old cat and had lost the of her back legs.  My mother had anticipated that Shadow would not be with us much longer, and she was right.  Going to the vet was an act of mercy - she could not bear to see the animal suffer.  I understand and agree that my mother's actions were indeed out of mercy and were I in the same situation (which is now very likely considering I have a cat) I would do the same thing.  Why allow the cat to live if it will only suffer?  

Today in class we basically addressed the same issue at the end of life for many people.  One scenario involved a woman who had advanced stages of cancer that was not responding to chemo.  She then contracts pneumonia and enters the hospital.  The doctors tell the family that if she is not treated for the pneumonia, she will die within a few days.  If she is treated, she will live for a few more months, but will most likely be in a significant amount of pain.  As a class, we were to act as the spiritual advisor to the family that must make the decision.  

In my heart, I know I would have made the decision to not treat the pneumonia.  Why cling to a life that has little left to offer when I truly believe that death is not the end?  If the person has made peace and seem to be ready for whatever is to come, it seems selfish to keep them here.  

Tonight, I watched the coverage of an execution in my home state of South Dakota.  This man brutally raped and murdered a young child over 20 years ago.  He was also convicted of 9 other felony acts.  Not just accused, but convicted.  He was, for all intents and purposes, an evil man.  He committed a heinous crime.  Yet, in my core, I felt killing him did not solve anything or truly bring an end to the pain he has committed.  I watched as the parents of the girl speak after the execution saying that they will never have closure, they will never move on.  They said that he not only took the life of their girl, but their's as well.  The mother spoke of wishing to stab this man rather than letting him die through lethal injection.

They were full of pain and anger.  They were right that this act had robbed them of their lives.  And I agree with them that his death will not bring an end to that pain and suffering.  The death of a sinner cannot bring healing to the living.  It cannot bring peace.  It cannot bring shalom.  

As a Christian, I look through the lens of God's grace and action.  It is not for us to prolong life for our own benefit or needs, nor is it for us to cut it short.  More or less time in this life is not what brings healing, only the grace of God can do that.  We cannot put our hope in medicine or judicial punishment for our salvation, but in God alone.  

Tonight I pray for the family of that little girl - that they may find healing and peace in this lifetime.  I pray for the other victims of the executed, that they may find peace and rest.  I pray for my state that it may come to see other roads to justice as other states have done.  And I pray for all those who must face difficult questions concerning the sanctity of life.  May we all be guided by the Holy Spirit to say "Not my will, but yours be done."

breaking down the same old things...

Have you ever had a bad habit that you just couldn't break?  I have multiple, but the one that keeps coming back no matter how much I try to subdue it is my habit of trying to control everything.  I think the technical term is "control freak."  I prefer to know what is happening and if left to my own devices would not venture into new areas or experience willingly.  So, as you can imagine, I have been having a difficult time adjusting to my new situation because no matter what I do, I cannot control it.

This week has been especially hard in that respect.  I am finally reaching the point where I can accept that why some of this has been so hard is because in an attempt to control my life, I have shut out most of my life.  I focus on homework because I can control when that gets completed.  I can control what I watch on tv or online.  I can control what I eat for my meals if I stay here to eat them.  See?  It's all about control.  Why?  Control is safe and comfortable.

This week I got sick and getting sick always reminds me that I am not in control.  I came here having, for probably the first time in my life, a definite calling and direction for my life.  In two years I can get my degree and get on to what God has planned for me.  That is how I saw it.  And maybe how I still see it for the most part.  However, what slipped in the crack of my control was the idea that what God is calling me to right now is to be here.  I haven't been fully here.  My mind and my heart are strewn over South Dakota and the people that I care about there.  Slowly my connection there has been lessened, as it should be for now.  I cannot be fully here if so much of me, of my time and my concern is there.  Ultimately I am here to go back there and serve, but I cannot be faithful to God's calling on these two years of my life if I don't commit to being here.

I need to stop trying to control everything.  I need to stop trying to hijack my education and be more open to how this school does things.  That doesn't mean I won't think critically, but it does mean I won't reject something outright.  I need to stop being so afraid of the city and take the opportunities given to me to explore and experience what Chicago and Evanston have to offer.  I need to stop operating out of fear and be open to new experiences.  And I need to not be afraid of my own voice.

I miss my home all the time.  I miss my family and my church family who are so supportive.  I hope that I can honor them by allowing God to continually transform me into what I am intended to be.  This step has been painful, but refining is not an easy process.  Metal is refined by fire and I am being refined by the fire of the Holy Spirit.  But as my uncle Jerry would say, "Just think how good it will be when its done."

At the last, she smiled.

Today my grandmother, Ruth Amanda Stordahl Henry passed away.  She was 90.  She was lovely.  And I will miss her dearly.

Ruth is someone who never wanted a big deal made about her, but I can't help writing.  Part of the reason is that the reflection helps me to cope, but I also cannot help but share the story of her passing.  It is beautiful in its simplicity and mystery.

Lying in the hospital bed, she had been sleeping a lot because of the pain medication.  She woke up and she was looking around the room.  As I am told, almost as if she was looking for someone.  Then a big smile of recognition broke out across her face.  She said to the vision, "I'm fine" and then she was gone.

I sit here and speculate what it is that she saw.  Was it an angel?  Was it a messenger from God?  Was it a delusion?  All are possible, I suppose.  I choose to believe that it was my grandpa.  I am not sure if that's theologically correct, but I wonder if God himself wouldn't have rejoiced in their reunion enough to send him to get her.

I believe she had just been waiting for today for a long time.  I am glad that she does not have to feel lonely anymore.  I am glad that she will be whole again - with a body and a mind that will never again betray her.

She was the last grandparent of mine to pass away.  I have mourned for them all, but I know with her, as with the others, that this is not a goodbye.  By the grace of God we will meet again one day.

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  -Romans 8:37-39

Afraid

I have all this stuff in my head and my heart and am afraid to say it out loud.  Some of it I am fine with sharing - I am a feminist.  This isn't much of a surprise - my kids call me a "feminazi" which I sort of hate actually.  It is mostly because of my position that women can be pastors and should have equal rights as men.

I also believe that homosexuals should have equal rights and do not understand why this isn't happening in the government.  We have separation of church and state which the church likes because it keeps the government from meddling with the church, but the church definitely likes to meddle with the government.  One religious belief should not dictate an entire (religiously free) country full of people who have a variety of religions represented (including no religion.)  It's one argument within the church, but that argument should not have a bearing on the government.

I didn't grow up in a household where my parents were pushing their beliefs on me.  When I went to seminary the first time I was surrounded by people who grew up with this Christian counter-culture that I wasn't really aware of.  They only listened to Christian music, read Christian fiction, watched Christian movies, etc.   I felt outside - I felt like I did not "get it."  I read the blog "Stuff Christians Like" and most days I think - I have not experienced what they are talking about apart from my time in college when I attended larger (mostly Baptist) churches.  That wasn't my experience.  And it isn't my experience now.  And I am fine if that is never my experience.  I am not a Christian for the counter culture (which in reality mirrors and glorifies secular culture without really be critical of it because it has a religious sheen on it.)  I would rather engage in the culture that is there - finding the good, thinking critically, and praising God.

I am nervous about attending Garrett in the fall.  Will I have the same experience that I did at Gordon?  I am afraid that if I do, I will quit.  I will not go through with it.  I can't go through that again - I can't keep taking classes where I am constantly having to evaluate what I can trust as a source because I fundamentally disagree with presuppositions that the author makes.  It's tiring and alienating and I don't like doing it.  I want to go somewhere where I will be affirmed in what I believe - where people will not be secretly wondering what I am doing there.  Not that they did at Gordon, but I did.  I wondered.  When you constantly are disagreeing with people - it makes you feel like a terrible Christian.  I love God.  I love Jesus Christ.  I have a calling on my life - I know this.  I just don't want to always be fighting or keeping my thoughts close to me all the time because I might offend someone or turn them away from the church or something else.

I have always tried to let people come to their own decisions and think things through.  And I'm not one to easily share what I think - and maybe now I wish that I would.

saying no because I already said yes.

This is the beginning of the end.  I can feel it.  I have known for months now that my time here would end this summer, but this last week was the first time I really felt it.  I went to the musical and watched as some of my students performed.  It was funny and sweet and I really enjoyed myself.  Then I went home and tears were coming to my eyes and I wondered why.  I am leaving them.  I won't see them in another spring musical.  I won't have them in my office in the fall complaining about confirmation requirements, how much their teachers are out to get them, or why this girl or that boy is horrible.

It surprises me how much I have enjoyed working here and how much I care about these students.  I even care about the ones who frustrate me day in and day out with the choices they make.  Sometimes I wonder if they deliberately choosing the worst possible scenario on purpose or if it is a natural talent they possess.  I wonder about the next person - will they love and care for these students?  Will they see all the wonderful qualities they have - even if they are sometimes buried under a load of sarcasm, eye-rolling and shoulder shrugging?

Another reason my departure is becoming real is that others are leaving this summer as well.  As they begin to announce their departures it forces me to think about my own.  I will be the last to leave (even though I was the first to announce by far!)

All of this is just a reflection that change is a part of life.  Transition is a part of life.  Goodbyes are natural.  However, they are hard if the place you are leaving is a place you love. God is there with us as we say goodbye - as we say no to staying because we have said yes to leaving.  I know that I am doing what God has called me to do.  I have finally said yes to him and in doing so, I have to say goodbye.

I still have a few months left - but as prom and graduation approach with all their ceremonies marking the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one, I can't help but think of my own story.  I have loved this chapter and am grateful for it.  However, I am so looking forward to the next one.

I will try to update more as I go through the process, but until then - pray for me.  If you would.

Sugar High

In junior high, my favorite movie was Empire Records and my favorite part of the movie is when Gina finally gets to live out her dream of singing in a band.  The song they sing is "Sugar High" and every once in awhile that song will randomly start playing in my head.

I gave up sugar for Lent.  Not all sugar - but most of it.  I still eat fruit and drink 100% fruit juice and honey.  But that's the only sugar.  No bread.  No sweets.  No baked goods.  No pie.  Practically no cereal.  

So far it's been good for me.  I am eating much healthier.  I have rediscovered my love for carrots and red pepper hummus.  I have been making my own salad dressings which is cool.  

There are a few downsides, however.  My birthday is during Lent which also means Pi Day is during Lent.  No birthday cake or Pi Day Pie for me this year.  I also had a dream last night that involved me eating this peanut-butter and nutella concoction and it was so unbelievably delicious.  Then I remembered in my dream that I couldn't have it - and only sort of felt guilty about eating it.  :)  Even in my dreams I am trying to observe Lent.

Here's a link to that part of the movie I was talking about:

http://youtu.be/qUJkM9jAzkk

I have some strange quirks...

I am the type of person who will drop everything to keep reading a good book.

I am the type of person who will avoid doing dishes until she runs out of something essential, like spoons.

I am the type of person who avoids seeing movies right away if everyone else has seen them, out of principle.

I am the type of person who will actually try the things she likes on Pinterest.

I am the type of person who can make a great-looking pie, but fail at cakes.

I am the type of person who can sit in a quiet room and not feel the need to do anything.

I am the type of person who would rather go to bed early and sleep in.

I am the type of person who loves her job, even on the hard days.

I am the type of person who looks to her mom for strength and her dad for wisdom.

I am the type of person who asks her brother for advice on how to cook a roast.

I am the type of person who wears an alpaca poncho around her apartment to keep warm.

I am the type of person who writes on her blog when she is at a loss for what to do at work.  :)

Another thing I learned...

I knew that there would be something else to learn when I posted that list.

#12  I learned what fingers pinched in a door look like.  And it's an image that will be in my head for awhile.


Last night we had a game night with "dark games" because the middle school students earned it through their offering giving.  "Dark games" always pose a greater risk of injury than games in the light, naturally.  One of my students got his fingers slammed in a door and two of them had pretty deep gashes in them.

Let's just say I am grateful for having a regular volunteer who is also a nurse.  I am also grateful for college students who are trained in first aid who step up when they need to.

11 things I learned in 2011

Granted, I've got a few days left to learn something in this year... 


11. Not having tv is something a person can survive. It may even allow them to thrive. 


10. The way to my nephew Kyle's heart is through anything to do with the movie Cars.


9.  The world's largest ball of twine in Darwin, MN makes for a great photo opportunity.

8.  No matter what I tell myself, I'm just not meant to be a Duke Blue Devil.


7.  I love the bands Mumford & Sons and He Is We.


6.  Chicago is my kind of town.

5.  My dad is the head of housekeeping (among other things) at his new job and hell didn't freeze over!  :)

4.  Always make sure you have your keys BEFORE you lock your car.  [see link for more info: http://auburnaudacity.blogspot.com/2011_05_01_archive.html]

3.  Life can be heartbreaking and the road can be difficult, but there is always hope.  Thank you for teaching that to me, Sam.

2.  My mother is stronger and more courageous than any of us ever knew.  

1.  God has a plan for my life.  It involves becoming a pastor.  Seminary, here I come again!

Advent Reflection

I told my mother this week that if I ever had children, I would probably not be a good parent. Certain events have passed that make me believe I would be an overbearing parent and would have a hard time being compassionate when the child defies me to make really stupid choices. As a youth pastor, this happens frequently since I work with teenagers and they are the age group that exemplifies this behavior (but the behavior is by no means limited to teenagers.) I have certain youth that I have invested much of my time and energy guiding and listening to and one of them let me down this week. It shouldn't have been as big of deal for me as it was, but I reacted terribly. I was angry. I have spent all this time telling them what to do, what not to do, etc. And they do what they want anyway. It's really frustrating!

So what does this story have to do with advent other than this happened during the season of advent? I'm so glad you asked.

This is the same story that we read in the Old Testament between Israel and God. Israel is that teenager that absolutely refuses to trust that God is God and keeps doing what they want. And it doesn't turn out well for them. By being disobedient, short-sited, and never satisfied, Israel managed to split into 2 countries. Both countries managed to be conquered by larger nations,and they manage to majorly corrupt the temple (the House of God.) Over and over God sends prophets to warn them, to correct them, to guide them but the people don't listen.

Then they come to God and complain about how terrible their lives are. How could he have let this happen? It wasn't their fault that they were conquered - did you see how big that army was?!?! I have to think God felt a little like I did this week. "I've told you over and over again!! This is the consquences of your choices!" If God were me, the phrase "Suck it up and deal with it" might be some where in the Old Testament - perhaps coming out of the mouth of Isaiah.

Instead, God has Isaiah say, "Comfort my people. Speak tenderly to them." They have so royally screwed up but instead of abandoning his people, God comforts them. Not only that, he says that he'll send one to fix it - to save them from the mess they created.

Sometimes I don't get how God can do that. When I really stop and dwell on it I cannot believe what he promises and what he delivered that night in Bethlehem. The frustrated youth pastor who wants to swear of kids part of me says, "They don't deserve this! They'll never learn!" The sinner in me says, "Praise God - I don't deserve this but I am so humbled by it."

May you be humbled this advent season at the mercy you have been shown by God - a mercy that is beyond anything I can muster and beyond anything any of us deserve.

why advent isn't on my mind...

Normally Advent is my favorite season of the church and of the year. I love the time leading up to Christmas and spend time listening to Christmas carols and singing Advent hymns (O Come O Come Emmanuel and Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming are two of my favorites). I start to watch all of my movies that feature at least one Christmas scene and do some baking.

This year I have done some of those things, but my heart is just not in it like other years. The reason is because my mind and heart are with a teenage boy who was diagnosed with Leukemia in March. His cancer has resisted going into remission and he is losing the battle. Sam Grorud is amazing because through his diagnosis and battle with cancer, he has brought together many people in the town of Milbank and beyond through prayer and support. He has defied expectation over and over again.

I do not pretend to understand why God allows teenagers to have cancer, but he does. I do not pretend to know why Sam's cancer did not respond to the chemotherapy, but it didn't. I do not pretend to know why God has put me in Milbank at Sam's church for this journey, but He did. I don't pretend to know what tomorrow brings or the next week or month or year, but it will come and God will be there.

Right now my heart and my mind are with the Groruds and it seems that Advent is in the background. However, more than ever I understand the need for hope in the darkest of times. The power that faith and prayer can have when nothing else delivers is astounding. So, maybe Advent isn't so far away. Maybe this year the message of hope and the need to be saved is closer than ever.

For those of you who would like to know more about Sam and his story:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/samgrorud

Advent Log and Squirrell

Advent logs are a common tradition that are along the same lines as an Advent wreath. They have 4 candles that represent each Sunday in Advent. As a young child I made an Advent log during Sunday School. We were given a log with holes in it for the candles and we were to decorate it. We had various fake greenery, red ribbon and bows among other decorations. When I finished with the log it was the most hideous advent I had ever seen, but I brought it home and my parents proudly displayed it. In fact, they still have it to this very day.

But what makes my parents' advent wreath special was the addition of a small ceramic squirrel that I made it art class a few years after I made the wreath. He is perched on the log and has become a part of the advent celebration in the Rowen household. He has lost an ear over the years so he fits right in with the log that has some it's decorations that are starting to fall off.

Last year my dad made me my very own advent log similar to the one I made them so many years ago. However mine does not have a squirrel. :(

Advent Begins...

It is my sincere intention to write often during advent. About what is going on in my life. About the advent season and about how I prepare for Christmas.

To start things off, though, a Tim Hawkins video. He makes some valid points that I think we all should consider.

Direction in Life

I have made a life decision.  I am going to become a pastor.  Following is the description of how I got to this point.  Please pray for me as I navigate the next stage of my life.  Thanks!

I was fifteen when I gave my life to Christ at the Lifelight Music Festival.  I was blessed in high school to have a group of friends who were also committed to their faith.  We were able to support each other and hold each other accountable.  I received my first calling my senior year but I cannot remember exactly how it happened.  I remember that we were signing up for job shadowing and the first thing I wrote down was “youth pastor.”  I don’t remember consciously thinking about it prior to that moment.

I went to college at the University of Sioux Falls and majored in Philosophy and Theology with a minor in English.  College was a fruitful time for me.  I loved being in the classroom, asking the difficult questions, working through the gray areas of my life and faith.  I spent a semester abroad in Oxford University studying philosophy of religion.  Needless to say, my passion became academic theology.  My professors helped to give me a voice – to express my beliefs and my faith.  They questioned me and asked me to defend my faith – so that they (and more importantly I) knew what it was that I believed and why.

During the summers I worked at Lake Poinsett Camp under Thom Bowsher for a year and then Steve Foss for four years.  I loved the balance that the camp provided in my life.  During the school year my head would be filled with theological concepts, church history dates, philosophical arguments, etc.  In the summers, I was able to witness the transformative work of God through camping ministry.  Not only that, I came away from camp with a group of close-knit friends who were committed to God as I was. 

I applied to seminaries with the goal of one day becoming a professor of theology.  I spent two years at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, MA.  My time at seminary taught me a lot about what it took to be an academic and to succeed in that field.  I found myself less and less enchanted with becoming a scholar.  I still wanted to be in a classroom to teach and help others to grow in their faith, but I did not like the self-promotion and competition the field required. 

During that time I also worked at a small UCC church as a secretary. The pastor of that church was a woman who had attended Gordon Conwell.  I learned so much from her about being a faithful servant to God.  She had received her calling to ministry later in life and in a denomination that was much more liberal than her own personal beliefs.  However, God called her and she obeyed.  I saw how the church rallied behind her.  People stepped up and took responsibility for their church – everything from taking care of the building, to inviting others to worship, and to taking their very young and inexperienced secretary out to lunch and the occasional Red Sox Game.  I absolutely fell in love with that church.

After graduating from seminary with a Master of Arts Degree in Theology, I returned to South Dakota.  Since I was unsure if I wanted to continue with my schooling, I decided to take some time off and work on reducing my school loan debt.  After a few months at home, I got a job at Central United Methodist Church in Milbank, SD as a full-time youth worker.  It was not something I had planned to do, but I trusted that God knew what he was doing. 

I have been at Central for two years now working with middle school and high school youth.  I have two youth groups, teach Sunday school, teach confirmation classes, and plan many trips and events.  In the summers I am blessed to return to Lake Poinsett Camp as a counselor for a variety of church camps.  I often remark to others that I found a job that doesn’t feel like a job.  Many kids ask me if I actually do work or just get paid to spend time with them.  Little do they know!  Many days I feel like I am being thrown into the deep end dealing with real struggles and tragedy.  However, I have been so blessed by these students and do not take it lightly when they invite me into their lives.  I am learning the value of just being there for someone – to listen, to love, and to point to God.

This summer I spent four weeks counseling at Lake Poinsett Camp as well as one more week on a mission trip.  Early in the summer I was asked to lead a worship service at the camp.  A group of us from Milbank participated in the service, but I had planned it and gave the message.  After the service, my parents came up to me.  My mother was crying, (which in all honesty is sort of normal when she hears me share a message) and said that she knew without a doubt I should become a pastor.  For years, my response to that has always been that I know God has a calling on my life, but I’m not going to be a pastor.  That day, the response wasn’t there.  I didn’t know what to make of that.  A few others also came up saying the same sort of things.  I pushed it all down as I had weeks of camp left and very little time to process what that might mean.

The last week of camp for me was Leadership Training Camp.  The theme for the week was God’s Calling and I almost couldn’t believe it.  Each night the message struck me so powerfully that by the time we reached the Silent Night I was a wreck.  I sat in the chapel and just cried.  I cried because it wasn’t my plan.  I cried because I had spent so long running away from what God wanted for me.  I cried because I was afraid of what I might give up if I agreed to pastoral ministry.  The last morning one of my students spoke about a mission trip to Haiti he had taken earlier that summer.  He talked about the missionaries who worked there.  They would wake up early in the morning and do physical labor in the heat and humidity in a country far away from everyone and everything they knew.  The student asked them why they did it and they said they did it because they knew God had called them there.  They were fulfilled because they were right where God wanted them to be.  Nothing else compared. 

It was that moment that I knew I would do it.  I knew what God was calling me to do.  I look back now and see how God has been preparing me for this all along.  He opened my eyes to a love for studying his Word in college, he opened my heart for his people at the church in MA, and he opened me up to doing ministry here in Milbank.  This was His plan all along – even if it was not mine.  I can see that now and am ready to be obedient to Him. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

a not-so-typical day

Sometimes I am guilty of sitting around my apartment wishing I did something more exciting with my life. Wishing I could go somewhere and do something that would be a funny anecdote to tell others. Well, today that wish came true.

It started off like a normal day. Went to church, had my last day of teaching Sunday school before summer break, and went to church again. After church the pastor's son was really bored so he asked if he could come with me on my one errand I had planned for the day. I said sure, so we ate at Hardee's and were off. We drove to Hartford Beach so I could see ahead of time where the cabin was that we were going to use for our boys event tomorrow night. Nothing really exciting in this story except to say that he has a very interesting taste in music and plays it so loud that I will probably be shouting for a few days thinking I'm talking at a normal volume.

I got back to my apartment and called my parents just to chat. My mom tells me she's in the mood to go shopping and asks if I would like to meet her in Watertown. I say sure, so 5 minutes after arriving home I'm out the door again. We shop and then decide to eat at Applebee's. We get ready to leave and I can't find my keys. Sure enough, I locked them in the car. Now, all of my keys are on the same keychain: my apartment keys, church keys, car keys, scooter key, even church van keys. Not good.

I convince my mom that I will drive to Milbank in her car (she of course is coming along, but I didn't want her to have to drive the extra 80 this plan would require.) The plan was to call the church secretary to have unlock the church and my office so I could get my spare apartment key so I could unlock my apartment to get my spare car key. The secretary wasn't answering. I call the pastor to meet me at the church. I get to the church and the custodian is there so I banged on the door and he let me in. Can't find the key. The pastor shows up because I forgot to call him back - so we both look for the key. Not there. The secretary finally calls me back, I ask her if she has the key. She's the only one who ever borrows it to feed my fish. She says she doesn't have it. We look in her desk, we look in my desk. Nothing.

Plan B. I will go to my apartment building and hope that the lady who is basically the landlord is home and she can open my apartment for me. I knock on her door. Nothing. I quickly formulate a new plan. I will knock on my neighbor's door and climb out her balcony and walk on the ledge 5 feet to my balcony because I think I left that door unlocked. So, I knock on that door - nothing. We hear the tv in the apartment on the other side of me. I knock on that door. My new neighbor who has only met me once opens and I kindly ask him if I can climb out of his balcony. So, I climb out of his balcony and walk on this ledge around the building. I now have to go around 2 corners and both his and my air conditioners. I make it to my balcony only to discover I did, in fact, lock that door. New plan! I will somehow get the screen off the window and climb through that. I know that I never lock the windows shut. That plan works and I open the door to let my mom in the apartment. This whole time my mom's been left in the car and left in the hallway - generally just left to wait for me.

I find my spare car key and then proceed to drive my mom's car back to Watertown. Unlock my car and the drive back to Milbank again. Still don't know where my spare apartment key is...

So - yeah... not how I thought today would go, but it was an adventure!

To prepare for Easter...

Although it is still lent, I came across this video today and found it so powerful I just have to share. I also put it on my facebook. I hope it blesses you like it blessed me today.

Ghost Adventures

I cannot stop watching the show "Ghost Adventures" on the Travel Channel. I have lost a lot of sleep because the show is on Friday and Saturday nights in marathon form. Then I have to watch something else so I am not so freaked out when I go to bed - by myself - in an apartment building that lends itself to noises from other tenants.

I really don't know what I think about paranormal stuff. I believe in the Holy Spirit - so I guess I logically would need to leave room for spirit. And I find it interesting that they track electro-magnetic field disturbances, temperature fluctuations, and the like. It's kind of amazing to think of the science behind this.

But what, as a Christian, do we make of paranormal activity?

in the land of carnivores but not of it...for now

When I was in seminary and the conversation would turn to age - people would always guess that I was 28. It would never fail - that was the age people believed me to be in MA. Perhaps it was the setting - I was in seminary and young people don't normally do that. Perhaps it was my friends - some were older but some were also younger. Perhaps it was the way I dressed - khakis, fleece, button down shirts. I rarely wore t-shirts or sweatshirts in public unless they had a crest on them.

Now that I am getting closer to that ever fateful age - people keep guessing under my real age. I suppose I should be lucky that I seem to be suffering from some sort of Benjamin Button syndrome but I think more is happening here. Perhaps it is the setting. I am now a youth pastor and my setting is usually in my office that is currently a mess of supplies, toys, and random objects such as teeth, guitars and a bongo drum. Perhaps it is the people I surround myself with - teenagers. They might have rubbed off on me a little... Perhaps it is the clothes I wear - band t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, jeans 6-7 days a week... Perhaps the fountain of youth is merely being in close proximity with youth.

So yes, my birthday came and went last week and my favorite parts included a homemade gift from my dad, frying an egg in my new pan from my mom, walking into my office filled with pink balloons from DeVern and Jen, and getting a surprise lunch from the church staff at the Millstone. I am a truly blessed girl.

Lastly, as you might have heard - it's Lent again. To continue my crazy ways - I have given up meat this year. So far so good - but I am grateful for the breaks on Sunday. I had a Frisco burger from Hardees and I almost drooled looking at it. That's just ridiculous! I did, however, make my first batch of really good pancakes on my new griddle. Turns out I am a really unhealthy vegetarian!

That's all I've got. What are you doing for Lent?

30 Photo Challenge

On facebook there is something going around called the 30 Day Photo Challenge. I really liked the idea, but I didn't want to do it in 30 days because I'm going to be gone so much. Also, I didn't want people to have to see it who really wouldn't care about the minute facts of my life. So, I decided to do all 30 photos in an album on Picasa and link it to my blog. If you read this, you must be interested in what I have to say.

30 Photo Challenge

You will need to read the captions because they explain the pictures.

I hope you enjoy!