Almost Christmas

Tonight was the high school Christmas party. All last week I had been working on a Christmas themed Family Feud game for the party. It went so well. The kids really got into it. I had them come up with family names and how everyone was related to everyone else. One of the teams all had famous members - Captain Jack Sparrow, Dora the Explorer, Yoda, Elvis, Miley Cyrus while the other team had only one famous name - Snuffleupagus. Well, if you put the "twins" together their names were famous... John and Wayne (both played by freshmen named Alex H.) Today was also the Chrismas program at the church and the choir cantata. I wish I could be in that choir but they always rehearse during Middle School youth fellowship.

All of this to say that my surroundings are telling me it's Christmas. I try to resist the usual trapping of Christmas until a couple of weeks out. This last week I have begun to let myself indulge in some Christmas music and movies. I watched The Holiday, Love Actually, and An Affair to Remember which I consider to be a holiday because it ends on Christmas Day. I am saving my favorite holiday movie for when I am home with my parents: Home Alone.

I have had a lot of kids stopping by my office in the last week. Mostly its because I'm one of the few people that can sign off on their mandatory service hours required by the high school. Some of them stayed to chat awhile and most of them looking for sympathy on how crazy their life is - how they have speeches and tests and papers due. I sort of miss the chaotic, stressful time that is finals. Hear me out.

While in college and seminary, the latter half of November and the beginning of December were a dark abyss. After Halloween you began to see the dark tunnel approaching and if you weren't it in by Thanksgiving break, you were heading for it. It's that time where you hole up in your room or at the library frantically studying and writing. Your to-do list is longer than what should be humanly possible to complete. By the time you actually take the tests and turn in the papers, you are so sleep deprived your brain feels like the consistency of grape jelly. You wonder how you made it through, but there is also a sense of accomplishment buried under all that exhaustion.

In seminary, once finals were done, I could look forward to going home for Christmas. It was great because I would get to fly home and really have time to transition from "study" mode to "vacation" mode. I would sit in the airport in Boston and Chicago brimming with excitement because I hadn't seen my family in months. I hadn't been home. Christmas vacation was a real vacation because I was able to vacate my student life for a couple of weeks.

I miss all of that. I miss the sense of accomplishment. I miss the sense of relief and the joy of sleeping in after weeks of stress and tension. I miss the radical change of pace that Christmas always brought to my life. Last year I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas.

Some things are the same. We are still going to the Christmas Eve service and we will sing a verse of Silent Night in German (Stille Nacht). We will all butcher a verse of "I am So Glad Each Christmas Eve" in Norwegian. I will still visit my Grandma's on Christmas Eve night and open presents with my family Christmas morning. And when the time comes, all too soon, I will come back to Milbank and hang out with the kiddos.

I'm not sure what the point in all of that was. Life is changing. I can feel it - just can't seem to describe it well. Oh well - I hope you have a wonderful Christmas however you find yourself celebrating it!