Healed

Healed

I am not my own for I have been set free

Jesus shed his blood on Calvary

The tears from his eyes, the blood from his crown

fell over me on Golgatha's mound.

The hurt that I felt, the wrongs I have done

Were written on his face, were worn by the Son

The shame I had known now belongs to Him

What did he do to deserve my sin?

Chorus:

I know in weakness glory is revealed

I know in suffering love is sealed

I know in mockery faith is distilled

And in your death, I am healed.

I know no greater love than this

He was beaten, mocked, tortured and dismissed

He chose the nails - It had to be this way

He'll return again and I live for that day

By the way - I wrote this.

my constant companion

As you know, I gave up grains for Lent. That means no bread, cereal, baked goods, pasta or rice for me. This has caused something unexpected to enter my life... weird dreams.

The night before Lent I dreamed that I baked 3 dozen muffins. Not only that, but I ate 2 muffins before I realized that I shouldn't eat them. I felt horribly guilty and then woke up.

Ash Wednesday night: I dreamed that my only talent in the world was eating bread. I'm not really sure how that is a talent, but so many people in my dream were sad over the fact that I was giving up the only thing I was really good at. (I hope there aren't deeper issues there...)

Thursday night: I dreamed that I took out my student leaders for senior high youth group. I took them to a Chinese restaurant and ordered some sort of meat and asparagus, I think. However, when I got my order it was spaghetti (and the sauce had carrots in it like it did in New Jersey). I was so confused because it was a Chinese restaurant and I can't eat spaghetti. I went to go complain and a mob of young teenagers shove me out of the way.

Good news - last night I didn't dream about food. I dreamed that I was driving in Princeton, New Jersey trying to find the train station.

This should be one interesting Lenten season. I just hope that all these weird things don't distract me too much from why I am doing this - to remember what Christ sacrificed.

Lent

Lent begins today.

Wearing liturgical color? Check.

Attending Ash Wednesday service? Check.

Give up something? Check - grains.

Kind of wishing you had picked something else to give up? Check.

I look forward to this Lenten season. As I am challenged in my diet, may I remember in my small suffering what Christ endured for me. May I grow closer to him during this time so that I may appreciate what he did on Easter all the more.

no keys - no control.

I think God is trying to tell me something.

He took away my car when I couldn't get my garage door open.

He took away my computer when it completely crashed.

He took away my keys when I lost them.

However,

He gave me nice weather when I walked to work and wonderful people to dig out my door.

He gave me a new computer the very same day that I have yet to pay for.

He gave me a reminder that I have a spare key.

However,

I see my garage door snowed in again after this weekend.

I see the bill for my new computer still going unpaid and the overdraft protection notice email.

I see that my landlord still hasn't given me the extra key to the mailbox.

What's wrong with this picture? God gives and he takes away. Usually he takes away with a purpose. I know his purpose - he wants control. More accurately - he wants me to give up control. I can't seem to do it. I seem to have a death grip on my illusions of control over my life.

Solution: Keep listening to "meteor shower" by Owl City which reminds me that "I am not my own for I have been made new. Please don't let me go, I desperately need you." (1 Corinthians 6:19)

what a day

When I left for work this morning, I couldn't open the garage door. I've had problems with it on and off since I've lived here, but today was the first time it mattered. I couldn't get in through the other walk-in door because it was blocked by a 3-foot snow drift. So... I walked to work.

On my way to work I dropped off my computer. This weekend it crashed again. It had happened once before and they were able to rescue it. So I leave it at the shop with little worry.

After the staff meeting I listen to a voicemail telling me my hard drive has completely crashed and she is not sure she'll be able to save anything from it. Strangely, I'm not upset. The last time I took it in, the lady had already put my pictures, files and music onto DVDs so I had almost everything anyway.

The secretary called her husband and they gave me a ride back to my apartment. He then shoveled out my walk-in door so I could open the large garage door from the inside. They are really too nice to me.

After work I decide to go pick up my computer case from the shop. While there I look at laptops since I decided I would buy a new one and might as well buy local. I end up walking out with a new computer in my case and an invoice with instructions to "pay however I can..." I'm in shock.

I finally get an oil change in my car. Severely overdue. Buy some chicken and make pot pie for supper. I am gorging on grain products right now because in 2 week I will be giving them up for 40 days.

Spent the rest of the night drooling over this new computer. It is so much fun playing around with it, downloading my music back onto it and just marveling at how fast it runs!

God is good. He provides even in the little things. I am constantly amazed.