I have made a life decision. I am going to become a pastor. Following is the description of how I got to this point. Please pray for me as I navigate the next stage of my life. Thanks!
I was fifteen when I gave
my life to Christ at the Lifelight Music Festival. I was blessed in high school to have a group of friends who were
also committed to their faith. We were
able to support each other and hold each other accountable. I received my first calling my senior year
but I cannot remember exactly how it happened.
I remember that we were signing up for job shadowing and the first thing
I wrote down was “youth pastor.” I
don’t remember consciously thinking about it prior to that moment.
I went to college at the
University of Sioux Falls and majored in Philosophy and Theology with a minor
in English. College was a fruitful time
for me. I loved being in the classroom,
asking the difficult questions, working through the gray areas of my life and
faith. I spent a semester abroad in
Oxford University studying philosophy of religion. Needless to say, my passion became academic theology. My professors helped to give me a voice – to
express my beliefs and my faith. They
questioned me and asked me to defend my faith – so that they (and more
importantly I) knew what it was that I believed and why.
During the summers I
worked at Lake Poinsett Camp under Thom Bowsher for a year and then Steve Foss
for four years. I loved the balance
that the camp provided in my life.
During the school year my head would be filled with theological
concepts, church history dates, philosophical arguments, etc. In the summers, I was able to witness the
transformative work of God through camping ministry. Not only that, I came away from camp with a group of close-knit
friends who were committed to God as I was.
I applied to seminaries
with the goal of one day becoming a professor of theology. I spent two years at Gordon Conwell
Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, MA.
My time at seminary taught me a lot about what it took to be an academic
and to succeed in that field. I found
myself less and less enchanted with becoming a scholar. I still wanted to be in a classroom to teach
and help others to grow in their faith, but I did not like the self-promotion
and competition the field required.
During that time I also
worked at a small UCC church as a secretary. The pastor of that church was a
woman who had attended Gordon Conwell.
I learned so much from her about being a faithful servant to God. She had received her calling to ministry
later in life and in a denomination that was much more liberal than her own
personal beliefs. However, God called
her and she obeyed. I saw how the
church rallied behind her. People
stepped up and took responsibility for their church – everything from taking
care of the building, to inviting others to worship, and to taking their very
young and inexperienced secretary out to lunch and the occasional Red Sox
Game. I absolutely fell in love with
that church.
After graduating from
seminary with a Master of Arts Degree in Theology, I returned to South
Dakota. Since I was unsure if I wanted
to continue with my schooling, I decided to take some time off and work on
reducing my school loan debt. After a
few months at home, I got a job at Central United Methodist Church in Milbank,
SD as a full-time youth worker. It was
not something I had planned to do, but I trusted that God knew what he was
doing.
I have been at Central for
two years now working with middle school and high school youth. I have two youth groups, teach Sunday
school, teach confirmation classes, and plan many trips and events. In the summers I am blessed to return to
Lake Poinsett Camp as a counselor for a variety of church camps. I often remark to others that I found a job
that doesn’t feel like a job. Many kids
ask me if I actually do work or just get paid to spend time with them. Little do they know! Many days I feel like I am being thrown into
the deep end dealing with real struggles and tragedy. However, I have been so blessed by these students and do not take
it lightly when they invite me into their lives. I am learning the value of just being there for someone – to
listen, to love, and to point to God.
This summer I spent four
weeks counseling at Lake Poinsett Camp as well as one more week on a mission
trip. Early in the summer I was asked
to lead a worship service at the camp.
A group of us from Milbank participated in the service, but I had planned
it and gave the message. After the
service, my parents came up to me. My
mother was crying, (which in all honesty is sort of normal when she hears me
share a message) and said that she knew without a doubt I should become a
pastor. For years, my response to that
has always been that I know God has a calling on my life, but I’m not going to
be a pastor. That day, the response
wasn’t there. I didn’t know what to
make of that. A few others also came up
saying the same sort of things. I
pushed it all down as I had weeks of camp left and very little time to process
what that might mean.
The last week of camp for
me was Leadership Training Camp. The
theme for the week was God’s Calling and I almost couldn’t believe it. Each night the message struck me so
powerfully that by the time we reached the Silent Night I was a wreck. I sat in the chapel and just cried. I cried because it wasn’t my plan. I cried because I had spent so long running
away from what God wanted for me. I
cried because I was afraid of what I might give up if I agreed to pastoral
ministry. The last morning one of my
students spoke about a mission trip to Haiti he had taken earlier that
summer. He talked about the
missionaries who worked there. They
would wake up early in the morning and do physical labor in the heat and
humidity in a country far away from everyone and everything they knew. The student asked them why they did it and
they said they did it because they knew God had called them there. They were fulfilled because they were right
where God wanted them to be. Nothing
else compared.
It was that moment that I
knew I would do it. I knew what God was
calling me to do. I look back now and
see how God has been preparing me for this all along. He opened my eyes to a love for studying his Word in college, he
opened my heart for his people at the church in MA, and he opened me up to
doing ministry here in Milbank. This
was His plan all along – even if it was not mine. I can see that now and am ready to be obedient to Him.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of
those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
