Almost Christmas

Tonight was the high school Christmas party. All last week I had been working on a Christmas themed Family Feud game for the party. It went so well. The kids really got into it. I had them come up with family names and how everyone was related to everyone else. One of the teams all had famous members - Captain Jack Sparrow, Dora the Explorer, Yoda, Elvis, Miley Cyrus while the other team had only one famous name - Snuffleupagus. Well, if you put the "twins" together their names were famous... John and Wayne (both played by freshmen named Alex H.) Today was also the Chrismas program at the church and the choir cantata. I wish I could be in that choir but they always rehearse during Middle School youth fellowship.

All of this to say that my surroundings are telling me it's Christmas. I try to resist the usual trapping of Christmas until a couple of weeks out. This last week I have begun to let myself indulge in some Christmas music and movies. I watched The Holiday, Love Actually, and An Affair to Remember which I consider to be a holiday because it ends on Christmas Day. I am saving my favorite holiday movie for when I am home with my parents: Home Alone.

I have had a lot of kids stopping by my office in the last week. Mostly its because I'm one of the few people that can sign off on their mandatory service hours required by the high school. Some of them stayed to chat awhile and most of them looking for sympathy on how crazy their life is - how they have speeches and tests and papers due. I sort of miss the chaotic, stressful time that is finals. Hear me out.

While in college and seminary, the latter half of November and the beginning of December were a dark abyss. After Halloween you began to see the dark tunnel approaching and if you weren't it in by Thanksgiving break, you were heading for it. It's that time where you hole up in your room or at the library frantically studying and writing. Your to-do list is longer than what should be humanly possible to complete. By the time you actually take the tests and turn in the papers, you are so sleep deprived your brain feels like the consistency of grape jelly. You wonder how you made it through, but there is also a sense of accomplishment buried under all that exhaustion.

In seminary, once finals were done, I could look forward to going home for Christmas. It was great because I would get to fly home and really have time to transition from "study" mode to "vacation" mode. I would sit in the airport in Boston and Chicago brimming with excitement because I hadn't seen my family in months. I hadn't been home. Christmas vacation was a real vacation because I was able to vacate my student life for a couple of weeks.

I miss all of that. I miss the sense of accomplishment. I miss the sense of relief and the joy of sleeping in after weeks of stress and tension. I miss the radical change of pace that Christmas always brought to my life. Last year I had a hard time feeling like it was Christmas.

Some things are the same. We are still going to the Christmas Eve service and we will sing a verse of Silent Night in German (Stille Nacht). We will all butcher a verse of "I am So Glad Each Christmas Eve" in Norwegian. I will still visit my Grandma's on Christmas Eve night and open presents with my family Christmas morning. And when the time comes, all too soon, I will come back to Milbank and hang out with the kiddos.

I'm not sure what the point in all of that was. Life is changing. I can feel it - just can't seem to describe it well. Oh well - I hope you have a wonderful Christmas however you find yourself celebrating it!

This is my winter song to you.

There is no denying it any longer. Winter has arrived. When the first hint of snow dusted the ground a few weeks ago I was still in denial. I was in a very crabby denial because I wasn't ready for winter to arrive yet. Now, however, I have accepted the truth. It is December - it should be white outside.

I don't really have much to say. Lots on my mind, but rarely things that I am able to share. It's been frustrating in a way to have so much happen and not be able to include the few who read this in my prayer requests and small victories and defeats throughout the fall. Know that I stay quite busy contrary to the contents of this blog. Know that God is constantly putting me into situations that I have no idea how to navigate and he always brings me through. Know that even if I don't write you, that I think of you more.

I do have one story I can tell. My guitar that has been broken for a long time has finally been fixed and along with the guitar came some amazing news. I bought this guitar from Jerry Stolp for $15 a long time ago. It has been the guitar that went with me to college and to camp. The bridge snapped before I moved to Milbank, so I've been borrowing my aunt's guitar during this time. Well, it turns out that this guitar - my guitar - is a nice guitar. It would retail for maybe $500-600. However, if I had wanted to get a guitar of equal quality, I would have to spend around $1500! Can you believe it? When I got that news, I felt like I was on an episode of Antiques Roadshow or something. I would never sell that guitar - it means too much to me. It is a symbol of the beginning of my journey as a Christian. However, it is nice to know that something I treasure is also a treasure.

Another random story: I have been listening to all the music on my computer in alphabetical order by song title. I have 1,157 songs on my computer. It's 2.7 days of music. I have been on this project for over a week. Right now I am on the letter "O". The song playing at the moment is "Overture/Work Song" from the soundtrack to Les Miserables. It's been an interesting project. I have discovered a lot of music that I forgot I had and a lot of music I don't really like. The next project will be to edit that list down.

That's what's new with me. I hope you are enjoying your advent. My dad made me an advent log - I really enjoy my Sunday lunches now - getting to light the candle and everything. Thanks Dad!

Thanksgiving

To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything he has given us - and he has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of his love, every moment of existence is a gift of grace, for it brings with it immense graces from him. Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. -Thomas Merton

These last few months have been so full. Never in my life have I been so constantly in a state of heightened emotion and responsibility. My mind has been full of cares and concerns, of thankfulness and anger, of disappointment and hope. God has been busy at work and has granted me a part in that work, though most days I am unclear as to what role I should be playing.

Last weekend we did a 30 Hour Famine at our church. All the churches in Milbank were invited to participate, but I ended up doing the majority of the work. I was stressed, I was tired, and at the beginning of the event I just wanted to get through it. I just wanted it to be over. It is a good thing that God can speak to us even when it's the last thing we want to hear.

During the Famine, the youth that came surprised me. They decided to think about others instead of themselves - even if it was only for a moment. They are going to raise money to buy high quality hand filters in order to provide people in Haiti with clean drinking water. We are calling it the Clean Water Project. However, this is not really what this post is about.

I had to learn a lesson - be thankful for everything. Be thankful for the food you eat and the water you drink. That was what I was expecting to learn. What I really learned is to be thankful when you least feel like being thankful. Be grateful even when you don't feel it. Focus on God's blessings instead of all the challenges. Be grateful for the Son of God - if you have nothing else in your life to be thankful for - remember the love of God through Jesus Christ. You are loved - oh you are so loved.

Awake to the new wonder and praise of the goodness of God.

Where did this month go?

Okay, seriously - how is it the 18th already? The last full day off I had was October 2nd. 16 days ago. So much has happened since then and so much I really can't share on this blog. However, there is some that I can share!

The Generations Meal was October 3rd and we had about 120 people show up for it. The youth did the evening service and hosted a meal afterward. I truly believe that God provided a little miracle with the food because we really only had enough food for 80-90 to eat and somehow we fed everyone. There was some multiplying of the ham and cheese sandwiches in the kitchen, I think.

That same week I left for Kansas City for a church conference. It was called the Leadership Institute and was held at the Church of the Resurrection United Methodist church. It is the largest UM church in the nation - 20,000 members roughly. It was great to be in Kansas City again - I got to stay with Anna and her grandparents! I was challenged by a lot and inspired by a lot. I am looking forward to implementing some of what I learned there in our little youth ministry in Milbank.

I came back from that on Saturday night, went to church Sunday morning and stopped back at my apartment for about 30 minutes to frantically unpack and re-pack before heading back to the church for another trip. This time I was headed to Lake Poinsett Camp with my 7th and 8th graders for a confirmation camp. It was a 24 retreat with 3 other church attending as well. It was a fun, quick trip.

I spent 3 very full days in Milbank after that - concerts, MS YF, volleyball game, playing catch-up in the office and in my apartment. Then this past Friday I packed up the church van again and headed to Jamestown, ND for the Senior High Conference Rally. I didn't lead a small group, but did help with the Music/drama section of the Arts village. We decided to do a drama based on Glee. I was the Sue Sylvester character. It was so much fun to be so mean! I even got to throw a slushy in the other adult leader's face - twice! It was his idea, so no hate mail! :) I also had the privilege of giving the Sunday morning message. It was short and sweet and a total nerve-wrecking experience for me. I do not think preaching is my calling, and that's ok with me!

Yesterday, an hour after I got back from North Dakota, I went to the church for a membership meeting. In a couple of weeks I will be officially joining the United Methodist Church. I am looking forward to this commitment. The United Methodist Church has been such a large part of my spiritual journey and it really is my home.

Hopefully life will slow down a little now. And I find some time off soon!

Just "whelmed"

A person can be overwhelmed. A person can be underwhelmed. But can a person just be "whelmed?"

There is a lot on my plate lately but it's not exactly overwhelming. However, I stay busy and challenged enough to not be underwhelmed either. There is a lot to be excited about this year. My high school youth group has tripled! However, this upcoming Sunday is confirmation, so we'll see if those numbers stay after that. I have told some people, but I am cautious about being excited about the growth because I am waiting to see some kids stop coming. Last year the first couple of weeks there were more than there were any other time of the year. I would love if they all stayed, but I bracing myself for the reality that they aren't going to. And that's maybe ok. In high school the kids that come are the kids that want to be there...for the most part.

I have been thinking a lot lately and that unusual for me. Just kidding. It's not unusual for me at all. I just keep wondering what God has in store for me. That's kind of selfish. During college I had direction but since seminary that has been so elusive to me. I am doing what I am doing but have no idea what the future holds. For a lot, that seems ideal. I have very few attachments, so the world is open to me (for the most part.) But what I want is some direction. I would like some goal to work toward. I have learned that I tend to get lazy without something to work toward. I love what I do now, but when 6th graders are asking me if I will still be here when they graduate, there is a small voice in my head that says, "I really hope that is not God's plan..."

I've known for awhile that my life wouldn't resemble those closest to me. I mean, I'm 25 and single. That's almost an unforgivable sin in the Midwest - especially if you are Christian! I should be multiplying God's kingdom by my family. What can I say... I'm a rebel. I will multiply God's kingdom through other means.

Just some rambling. SYATP was this morning. We had about 50 kids show up. Smaller than last year, but I'm still happy with the turnout.

That's all. Later.

It all begins again

This Sunday is Rally Sunday at our church. That means we switch back from summer hours, Sunday School begins, and Youth Fellowship begins. I have a special service planned for yf this week. We are going to do a covenant service and start the year by being reminded that God has made all things new. In Christ we are a new creation. Therefore, it is my hope that we can begin this year without a lot of baggage.

Rally Sunday also means I've been busy putting the youth room back together. This last month has been spent priming and painting the walls. We have a few things left to paint, but I am going to wait on those until this winter when we have a bit of a slow season. I think that is the best idea because it will allow for them to discuss what they want for the last mural and bit of wall to be done. I want this to feel like their room, after all.

I commented to my mother today that starting Sunday I will be crazy busy again. She replied, "When aren't you crazy busy?" This last year has flown by and my schedule is already filling up for the new year. I like it though. I like having a job that's crazy and unpredictable at times. I love having students show up in my office just to hang out because they were bored. I love going to games and sitting next to nervous parents as they watch their son or daughter play. So, while it keeps me busy, I don't mind.

If you are reading this, I am going to ask you a favor. Please send up a prayer for my youth groups this year. Both middle school and high school. Pray that they would encounter God in a powerful way. Pray that God would break through their walls and soften their hearts. And pray that their schedules don't get the best of them!!

Thanks!

Looking Ahead

This Sunday marks my year anniversary living and working in Milbank. In honor of that momentous occasion, I have decided to grace you with a Top 10 List of moments in the last year. Enjoy!

10. Every crazy thing that I have said in total sincerity, such as "WIPE!!"

9. Milbank winning the football state championship.

8. Lizzy's rabbit impression. "What does a rabbit do?"

7. Camp and all that includes.

6. Emily and Kristen's weddings. Congrats!

5. Every trip with students - they were... um.... learning experiences.

4. The night in hs yf where I was flooded with questions.

3. The support for my aunt's funeral.

2. Setting off the fire alarm in the church.

1. My nephew Kyle was born. On Christmas day. In a blizzard.

Here's to another year in this crazy job. May God bless it!

I heart camp.

This summer is a challenge. The dean of the camp that I counseled last week encouraged us to write down some of the stories so that we don't forget them and because story telling is part of life and of keeping faith alive. I agree with him, but I'm afraid the things that I have been learning and experiencing do not work well in story form. God has been moving and it's been incredible to see him break through to kids in the last few weeks.

This last camp, though. Man... I did not come back the same person at all. Some of it had to do with watching middle schoolers totally school me on what it means to be compassionate. Some of it had to do with feeling more at home at camp than I do in Milbank (even though I've lived here nearly a year.) Some of it has to do with finally connecting to other young leaders in the Dakotas Conference Methodist Church after a year of feeling like an outcast. Some of it has to do with my complacency in my own spiritual life and being challenged to step up in what I am leading students to do and think.

Over the last year one of the biggest hardships I faced was the feeling of being alone. This last week at camp put that in sharp relief. I was a part of a team of active Christians with different perspectives, passions and ideas for what God can do and does do in the world. Left on my own, my concept of God tends to shrink. I don't give him much credit or expect him to work. My attitude throughout the year had been - I'm going to try this and if something good comes of it, then great... if not - oh well. This week I realized that God can and will do amazing things with teenagers - if I trust Him. If I lead them to trust Him.

I am grateful for the camping ministry because it changed my life. I am who I am because of camp. Camp breaks down my walls and prepares me to listen to that still small voice of God. It is camp that provides that place set apart where my body and mind are trained to focus on God and to re-center my life around Him. It's not that camp is the only place to encounter God - it's just the most powerful memories I have of God so I am actually listening when I am there.

Like I said, not really stories. But they are truths and the truths about who I am and who I have been. As I look forward to this next year I pray that I am not the same person this time next summer as I am right now.

New Song

It isn't finished yet, but this is a song I've been working on today. I would like your feedback. The video is poor quality, but I only made it because I can't figure out how to upload just music to the blog yet...

Lyrics:

How can I turn my face, when the pain is all too real?

How can I let it go, when anger's all I feel?

I know He said I've got to love my enemy

Not sure if that's really possible for me

at least on my own without Him near me.

How can I open up after all that you've done?

How can I speak to you, when the words fail to come?

Summer Life

Summer life is...

Busy. I thought maybe it wouldn't be so hectic this summer without all my reguarly scheduled Sunday School and youth fellowship times, but that is so not the case. I have replaced a routine with chaotic scheduling and week-long camps. But I am also loving it! I just got back from my first week-long camp "Dare 2DV8". It's a 5th and 6th grade camp and I had a group of kids from the Milbank church go along. I would not trade those experiences for anything - I am so excited for these kids to participate in youth fellowship in a couple of years.

I also went camping with my family over the 4th. My grandma Henry turned 88 this year! Her birthday is on the 4th and that is lucky because she doesn't really like being celebrated. However, I spotted some tears this year as we sang happy birthday. She's just a big softy after all!

My dad bought a scooter (a razz) for me a couple of weeks ago. I just casually mentioned that I might like to own one someday and the next thing I know there is one in the garage. It's an older model, and it's seen some tough days, but it works and is almost in my price range. My parents are working with me on the payments. It's small enough that it doesn't have to be licensed, but it still goes about 20-25 mph. It's a baby blue color and at some point I'll have to put a picture of it online. Machelle calls it "barbie blue."

Otherwise, not much else to report. I am currently waging war against fruit flies in my apt. Their numbers are such that they should win, but I have discovered their great weakness: apple cider vinegar. Put a little dish soap in with the vinegar to break the surface tension and when they land for a drink, they drown. However, now my apartment smells like vinegar and I have these cups of what looks like nasty fly soup around my apartment.

That's all for now. Hope you're enjoying your summer!

Lizzy is 3!!!

My sweet little niece Lizzy turned 3 today! I cannot believe it. Here are a few pictures from the day. Also - happy Memorial Day! I am so honored to be the granddaughter of two veterans.

Grandma Henry and my nephew Kyle. He's getting so big!

What a beautiful girl!!

She got this bouncy ball thing for her birthday.

She's going to have some pretty strong legs by the end of summer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZZY!

LOVE YOU!

End of the School Year

It's May. Already.

On Sunday I watched the seniors of Milbank High School graduate. I didn't know the entire class and I really only knew a couple very well. I am always a little emotional at graduations, though. Each student is beaming with pride at what they have accomplished. It is one of the only time where the ending is just as exciting as the beginning. They have completed their childhood and now the whole world is laid out before them. I like reading where each of the students are going to college or military or wherever. It's so full of hope.

I am so thankful for the seniors who were in my youth group this year. They had every reason to write me off and yet they didn't. They allowed me into their lives even though they knew it would only be this year. They were student leaders and went on many of the extra trips and events offered throughout the year. I could not have had the year I did without these two students.

I am so proud of everyone who graduated this year. A lot of my seminary friends also graduated and are embarking on the next phase of their lives in ministry. For some that means more education, for others it means finding jobs. I pray for God's blessing on all of them. I could not be more proud or honored to know you and have been influenced by you!

Rest In Peace Richard

My grandfather was a mortician (funeral director.) He used to say that death always comes in threes. Today, I have found that to be true.

A little over a week ago I wrote about my aunt's unexpected death. During the time home with my family, I commented that I would like to attend a funeral where I was not part of the family mourning. Today, I ran the sound for a funeral in the church where I work. The woman was 102 years old. She lived an amazing, godly life.

However, about an hour before the funeral, I received a call from my dad. He had the same tone as when he called to tell me about my aunt. I knew the tone because I had so recently heard it. He told me that my high school classmate Richard Carlson had died. His passing is so tragic, because in my heart I believe that God had a different plan for his life.

Richard was always a goofball. In our class of 18 - he always had a smile on his face. He was also one of 6 in my Sunday School class.

Here are some of my memories of Richard:

- On our communion retreat, Richard dared Ryan LaMont to drink all the leftovers off of everyone's plate and Ryan did it! They were very good friends in elementary.

- Throughout school Richard would always tease Emily about being "rich". The particular taunt that sticks in my mind is the daily comment about her golden toilet. Emily would just laugh in response - they both enjoyed that interaction.

- In high school, during a Friday history class when we were playing that current events game, Richard was flicking a pencil off his desk. One of the times that he flicked the pencil, it flew up my nose. Neither the teacher nor the other team understood why we were all laughing so hard.

I will always remember Richard with a smile on my face and I am deeply saddened that life got the better of him. I pray for peace for his family and those most affected by this tragic passing.

Hope amidst the sadness

I want to share with you a story.

A manager of a hotel in a large city goes to work. It is a day like any other. Many people to see, tourists to direct, tasks to accomplish. Then, the ambulance has been called for one of the rooms of the hotel. It seems one of the occupants has had a heart attack. The woman is taken to the hospital with a husband following behind in shock. The manager remembers this couple - they had just checked in earlier that day. They were so excited for their bus tour the next morning.

During the night, the manager learns that the woman has passed away. That poor man is all by himself in this large city with so much to deal with. The manager decides she will help him. She comes back in the morning and takes him around. He doesn't even have a car here, and if he did - he's not going to know his way to the coroner's office. She decides to sit with him - even though there is little she can say. The man has to fill out paperwork for hours - some vacation. She bets he hasn't even eaten! He thinks he can eat a sandwich - she can at least do that. He has a flight now for the next day.

The next morning - the manager asks the man if he ate breakfast. Fruit? No, the hotel's restaurant has anything he could want. The manager leads him to a table and instructs the man to order whatever he like - on the house. The man finishes and leaves to make his flight.

The manager cannot believe the strength and courage of this man to live through what has just happened to him. To lose something so precious so far from his home. The man cannot believe the kindness of this manager. He returns home to tell of his family that has gathered around him of an angel in Washington, D.C.

Thank you angel.

death - an ever-present reality

A few thoughts on Alberta Whitaker.

She was never afraid to tell me the truth. I appreciated that quality (at some points more than others.) She would never give me a haircut that would look terrible on me or that I wouldn't put the effort into maintaining.

She told me that she knew when I was very young that I would go into the ministry. She was right, sort of. I am in the ministry - but perhaps not in the capacity she had imagined. She was always supportive of me.

She was a great great mother - growing up I looked up to Amy and Jeff. Great kids come from great parents.

She was very generous - with her time, with her talent, with her love. She helped those in need - including me. I could not have finished seminary without her.

She loved God and she loved her family. That was a trait that she shared with her mother. A mother she will now spend eternity with.

Alberta - I know God is pleased with you and the way you lived your life. You have touched so many lives and though you are not here with us - your memory will be.

Easter

He is Risen! He is risen indeed!

Today marks one of the busiest Easters of my life.

Sunrise Service @ 7:00 am

Breakfast following service.

Drive to Arlington.

Dinner with the extended family.

Genuinely rejoice that Easter has come!

Eat lots of bread, cereal and grains. Yay!

Sandbagging at Lake Poinsett Camp

Saturday I took a group from Milbank to Lake Poinsett Camp to help sandbag. It was a fun day. My niece and nephew came from Arlington to help as well! It was such a great experience - over 100 people were there to help the camp. It is so awesome to see people band together in times of need and respond to a call for help. It is crazy to see how high the water is considering when I worked at the camp it was really really low.

Enjoy a few of my favorite pictures from the day. Can you believe it? It happened yesterday and I'm posting this today.

Randi and Sierra became fast friends.

I think it is because Sierra is more "girly" than me.

Yep. She is definitely more "girly" than me...

The afternoon got a little chilly.

Sarah and Michael helped Jeremy block the wind...

It was so great to spend the day with Randi and Jacob.

This is the whole Milbank crew plus a couple of "honorary" members.

Better Late than Never... Right?

I said that today to one of my students. They were frustrated because a boy was late for Sunday School because he was playing X-Box at home. I said, "I'm just glad he decided to come." That didn't make the first student very happy. I'm seeing an application for the prodigal son parable...

Anyway - it's been awhile since my weekend trips in February and I finally took the few pictures I took off my camera about 10 minutes ago. So - my apologies for the tardiness - but enjoy another glimpse into my life as a youth pastor.

Acquire the Fire

Group Photo: Apologies to Sarah for cutting off half her face.

I was taking their pictures - so they decided to take mine.

What I love about this picture:

Seth pretending to listen.

Chance laughing at Seth's effort.

John sleeping.

Senior girls

The Lutheran Youth Pastor Mike has a captive audience.

THE CROSSING: MS YOUTH RALLY

These are the only photos I took the entire weekend. At least they were entertaining.

That's actually how they look 90% of the time...

They are pretending to be adorable and lovable... it's a trick.

I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into my life lately.

Sort Of.

Sort of is kind of a filler word. People use it to give themselves time to think of what they are really trying to say. "Yeah, well, like, sort of, you know... it was good."

However, sometimes "sort of" completely changes the sentence. It can make good news not-so-good news. It can make bad news not-so-bad news.

"I love you....... sort of."

"You're going to live.... sort of."

"Congratulations! It's a boy!.... sort of."

"I am breaking up with you.... sort of."

"Yes, I think you're really funny.... sort of."

"You're fired.... sort of."

Turns out - the combination of "sort" and "of" makes for a quite a powerful little phrase. It could change your life!

Thanks to my new favorite comedian Demetri Martin for bringing that to my attention.... sort of.

Healed

Healed

I am not my own for I have been set free

Jesus shed his blood on Calvary

The tears from his eyes, the blood from his crown

fell over me on Golgatha's mound.

The hurt that I felt, the wrongs I have done

Were written on his face, were worn by the Son

The shame I had known now belongs to Him

What did he do to deserve my sin?

Chorus:

I know in weakness glory is revealed

I know in suffering love is sealed

I know in mockery faith is distilled

And in your death, I am healed.

I know no greater love than this

He was beaten, mocked, tortured and dismissed

He chose the nails - It had to be this way

He'll return again and I live for that day

By the way - I wrote this.

my constant companion

As you know, I gave up grains for Lent. That means no bread, cereal, baked goods, pasta or rice for me. This has caused something unexpected to enter my life... weird dreams.

The night before Lent I dreamed that I baked 3 dozen muffins. Not only that, but I ate 2 muffins before I realized that I shouldn't eat them. I felt horribly guilty and then woke up.

Ash Wednesday night: I dreamed that my only talent in the world was eating bread. I'm not really sure how that is a talent, but so many people in my dream were sad over the fact that I was giving up the only thing I was really good at. (I hope there aren't deeper issues there...)

Thursday night: I dreamed that I took out my student leaders for senior high youth group. I took them to a Chinese restaurant and ordered some sort of meat and asparagus, I think. However, when I got my order it was spaghetti (and the sauce had carrots in it like it did in New Jersey). I was so confused because it was a Chinese restaurant and I can't eat spaghetti. I went to go complain and a mob of young teenagers shove me out of the way.

Good news - last night I didn't dream about food. I dreamed that I was driving in Princeton, New Jersey trying to find the train station.

This should be one interesting Lenten season. I just hope that all these weird things don't distract me too much from why I am doing this - to remember what Christ sacrificed.

Lent

Lent begins today.

Wearing liturgical color? Check.

Attending Ash Wednesday service? Check.

Give up something? Check - grains.

Kind of wishing you had picked something else to give up? Check.

I look forward to this Lenten season. As I am challenged in my diet, may I remember in my small suffering what Christ endured for me. May I grow closer to him during this time so that I may appreciate what he did on Easter all the more.

no keys - no control.

I think God is trying to tell me something.

He took away my car when I couldn't get my garage door open.

He took away my computer when it completely crashed.

He took away my keys when I lost them.

However,

He gave me nice weather when I walked to work and wonderful people to dig out my door.

He gave me a new computer the very same day that I have yet to pay for.

He gave me a reminder that I have a spare key.

However,

I see my garage door snowed in again after this weekend.

I see the bill for my new computer still going unpaid and the overdraft protection notice email.

I see that my landlord still hasn't given me the extra key to the mailbox.

What's wrong with this picture? God gives and he takes away. Usually he takes away with a purpose. I know his purpose - he wants control. More accurately - he wants me to give up control. I can't seem to do it. I seem to have a death grip on my illusions of control over my life.

Solution: Keep listening to "meteor shower" by Owl City which reminds me that "I am not my own for I have been made new. Please don't let me go, I desperately need you." (1 Corinthians 6:19)

what a day

When I left for work this morning, I couldn't open the garage door. I've had problems with it on and off since I've lived here, but today was the first time it mattered. I couldn't get in through the other walk-in door because it was blocked by a 3-foot snow drift. So... I walked to work.

On my way to work I dropped off my computer. This weekend it crashed again. It had happened once before and they were able to rescue it. So I leave it at the shop with little worry.

After the staff meeting I listen to a voicemail telling me my hard drive has completely crashed and she is not sure she'll be able to save anything from it. Strangely, I'm not upset. The last time I took it in, the lady had already put my pictures, files and music onto DVDs so I had almost everything anyway.

The secretary called her husband and they gave me a ride back to my apartment. He then shoveled out my walk-in door so I could open the large garage door from the inside. They are really too nice to me.

After work I decide to go pick up my computer case from the shop. While there I look at laptops since I decided I would buy a new one and might as well buy local. I end up walking out with a new computer in my case and an invoice with instructions to "pay however I can..." I'm in shock.

I finally get an oil change in my car. Severely overdue. Buy some chicken and make pot pie for supper. I am gorging on grain products right now because in 2 week I will be giving them up for 40 days.

Spent the rest of the night drooling over this new computer. It is so much fun playing around with it, downloading my music back onto it and just marveling at how fast it runs!

God is good. He provides even in the little things. I am constantly amazed.

Vacation - Highlights

It's hard to know what to include in a vacation post. I will do my best to give you an idea of my vacation, both highlights and low moments (such as waking up before my 4:15 am alarm on Friday morning...)

Thursday, January 21st

Leave work early. Finally pack and head to Sioux Falls. Hang out with Nealy for the night - read during her volleyball league. Run into Gustavo Hernandez - an acquaintance from USF who recently befriended me on facebook. He asked if the baby in my profile picture was mine.

Friday, January 22nd - Travel Day

4:30 am - Leave Nealy's apartment. Roads are icy so I miss the turn onto the interstate on the bridge. Luckily no one is on the roads and I make a u-turn into the right merge lane for the interstate.

6:30 am - Flight leaves after short delay while they de-ice the plane.

9:45 am - Walking briskly through the Detroit Airport to make our next flight. I was totally unaware of how close we were to missing it.

Noon - arrive in New Jersey, split with Nealy and take a train to NYC.

3:15 pm - Board Megabus in NYC for a 4 hour bus ride to Boston.

8:30 pm - Get picked up by friends in Boston and begin my vacation there.

9:15 pm - Have Nick's Roast Beef for the first time in Beverly - so good it's almost criminal.

Saturday, January 23rd (Happy Birthday Machelle!)

Morning - spend alone in room trying to rest from day before.

Afternoon - Natalie and Anna take me to Rockport so I can see the ocean. There I bought windchimes.

Evening - Cheesecake Factory with Anna, Natalie, Ruth, Gina, Teal, Tina, Sarah L. and me.

Night - Arrive at Pastor Sarah's house to stay for the night. Have a long conversation with Tirzah and realize just how much I miss her.

Sunday, January 24th (Happy Birthday Dad!)

Morning - Go to church with Sarah, sing in the choir and thoroughly enjoy confusing the congregation. I had a lot of people say hello to me, take a few steps and then realize that I wasn't supposed to be there. Favorite reactions? Jeff and Kimie Kester - screaming might have been involved.

Noon - After church Sarah and I went to visit Wendy - the organist of the church who was recovering from surgery for tongue cancer. We learned that week that she was completely cancer free - Hallelujah!

Afternoon - Chinese food at the Frank house with the Kesters. Probably my favorite time in my entire vacation.

Night - Bus ride from Boston to NYC. Train from NYC to Princeton where Nealy and Emily were waiting for me.

Monday, January 25th

Morning: sleep.

Noon: not a whole lot.

Afternoon: short tour of Princeton Theological Seminary

Evening: Made spaghetti and met some of Emily's friends. The sauce had carrots in it - weird.

Tuesday, January 26th

Morning: Wake up on a deformed air mattress. Train to NYC (wrong train, however. Apparently we were on a "peak" train with "non-peak" tickets. Conductor was very generous however, and let us ride anyway.) Maneuver our way from Penn Station to Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Noon: Ate lunch at the museum. Think about the 13 original Van Goghs I just saw.

Afternoon: Stand in line at TKTS in Times Square to get tickets for Phantom of the Opera. Met a nice man from Indiana who was very entertaining. Check out a few stores (M&Ms, Hersheys, Toys R Us). Introduce Emily and Nealy to Black and White cookie.

Evening: See Phantom of the Opera on Broadway on it's 22nd anniversary of being on Broadway (to the day). Take train back to Princeton.

Wednesday, January 27th

Morning: sleep

Noon: Make sandwiches.

Afternoon: Take a tour of Princeton University - where dorms look like castles. Hang out at a local cafe.

Evening: Eat pizza with Emily's friends. Learn Pictionary Telephone game. Watch Love Actually.

Thursday, January 28th

Morning: sleep (see a pattern?)

Noon: make a sandwich

Afternoon: Drove around New Jersey. Saw the ocean again - for about 5 minutes because it was cold.

Evening: Eat at Windberry's - local restaurant. Watch Footloose.

Friday, January 29th

Morning: Take train to the airport.

Noon: Fly to Minneapolis.

Afternoon: Fly to Sioux Falls. Drop Nealy off. Drive to Arlington.

Evening: Eat supper with family (including brother and his family), teach them my new game, drive to LPC and pick up broomball equipment from Steve. Drive back to Milbank. Get pulled over as driving into Milbank for speeding but get a warning instead of a ticket.

Here are my pictures of the trip:

2010

Birthday at IHOP

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, so we all met up at IHOP to celebrate. While there, I made sure I got a photo or two with my new nephew Kyle. I also happened to get a couple with the girls. Enjoy!

One word: Awkward.

So funny story...

Last night was the church staff Christmas party. It was the pastor, his wife, the associate pastor, his wife, the secretary, her husband and me. The pastor's teenage son at the meal with us, which was kind of nice to have another young person there for a part of it.

During the evening we talked and played a couple of games. One of those games was a Christmas themed "charades." When my turn came, I got the song "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." I made a gesture to show a large belly and then mocked "ho ho ho" in order to show Santa Claus. My team guessed it correctly and got the song soon after.

Skip ahead a few rounds and it's the pastor's turn. He mimics my gestures for Santa Claus, only his team (the other males) are not as observant as the female team had been. In his frustration, the pastor made the large belly gesture and then pointed towards me. He was trying to connect the gesture to what I had done a few rounds ago. The secretary's husband did not make that connection... instead he blurted out "pregnant!"

Awkward.